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2008 Letters



21 Jan 08


Subject: What sucks worse than sports?
Answer: Sports fans.

I found your website in a google search after I wrote an article about how much I hate sports fans and just wanted to let you know I think your site rules.

--
Kobra




23 Jan 08


I love this site! I have never liked watching sports and neither do most of my friends! At our house we're planning an anti-superbowl party again this year. We do it every year. Usually we just have a few beers and wine coolers but this year we're going all out and actually doing some planning! If you're having an anti-superbowl party, these sites have some ideas and suggestions you might like.

http://busycooks.about.com/cs/seasonalcooking/a/AntiSuperbparty.htm

http://www.celebrations.com/partyidea/anti-superbowl-party

http://pages.prodigy.net/jchrist/Party.html

http://www.saneasylum.com/articles/379

http://www.thisisby.us/index.php/content/rbdweasel__s_2008_anti_superbowl_spectacular

Keep the Faith, Brother!
Big Dave

~Be Yourself. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.~




27 Jan 08


Hey, guess what, the BBC, which is funded by a compulsory licence fee, has decided to show the Superbowl in peak time in Britain. This was taken off commercial television due to a lack of interest, American football has very little of a following over here, but the BBC has decided to blow x millions of pounds on this borefest that goes on longer than War and Peace. Actually over here American footballers are regarded as freaks in steel helmets and the game is regarded as one of the most boring sports you can watch, although it has some strong competition from bowls and rugby union. A shame the BBC has to waste a fortune on a sports event that probably only a million people will watch when it cancelled a very popular martial arts tournament called Masters of Combat which had bigger audience figures and cost almost nothing to make as martial artists do their thing for no money unlike certain other sportsmen.
Glenn.




6 Feb 08


Hello, all. We just received an e-mail from noted Australian author, Pip Wilson, containing a link to his great blog page about competitive sports. I already added it to our Links page. Check it out:

http://wilsonsalmanac.blogspot.com/2008/01/competitive-sports-so-character.html

Ray




21 Feb 08


Subject: Bread and Circuses

Another view from Australia.

I have been known to watch Rugby Union and League games on the box, quite voluntarily. About two per season. I recognise the ability and I also recognise that many of the top players are above average in the brains department. It used to be said that Rugby Union players either moved pianos or played them. I've known two people who were close to the top grades in cricket and Australian Rules football, another man who represented Holland in an under 18 soccer team in the 1960s and you would rarely find better people about the place. They at least did not blather on endlessly about their games.

But there is a dark side.

Fact is I'm one of the thousands who were well and truly put off sport at primary school. If you play in the "left right out" position a few times you get the message. Multiply that by fifty or whatever and it's rubbed in very thoroughly. I do recall in my last years of high school our physical education classes were supposed to be gymnastics, something that I might have wanted to try. No. What we got was a period of running round the school oval tossing a Rugby ball back and forth. That was all the bl00dy instructor could think about. I don't think he lasted all that long. They wonder why many people give up sport as soon as they can. They must be brain dead. Result is that I have played three rounds of golf in the 41 years since I have left school. That is my entire sporting involvement since then.

I could be wrong, but if you get away from the larger cities in Australia and into the smaller communities there seems to be a lot less interest in televised football. None of the pro teams even purport to represent those communities. Residents of a town in central Queensland or even central New South Wales have no connection to some Sydney or Melbourne team.

Most of you will not recall a young woman who was an Australian Olympic swimming medallist 50 years ago. After the Rome Olympics she was back in training and following the black line as the coach ran along the pool edge shouting at her. At one point she thought - "Why am I putting up with this?" or something like it, swam to the end of the pool, got out, brushed past the apoplectic coach and did not get back into a pool for more than twenty years. Or so she wrote in a magazine article I read several years ago. The "aha" experience some call it.

Which reminds me of a colleague who is particularly tall. He grew up in a small country town where his father was a businessman. His father's brother ran a dairy farm close by and the colleague at about 9 years of age was told that in a year or so he'd be old enough to help uncle on the farm. So from the age of ten onward he got on a bicycle, rode out to the farm and helped with the milking. This went on for five years or so. Then one day one of his school teachers asked him to join the basketball team, practice after school. "I can't, I have to help with the milking." A few months later the teacher asked again. He gave the same reason. The teacher asked how much he was being paid. Of course he wasn't being paid. At all. He said "The scales fell from my eyes" He joined the basketball team.

So sport there was good for something.
Ken




22 Mar 08


Subject: Foul Play


Foul Play: What’s Wrong With Sport /

Joe Humphrys

 

Pub Date

3rd April 2008

 

 

ISBN

978-1840468-90-8

UK Price

£8.99

Can Price

$18.00

Format

B format

Extent

208pp

Binding

Paperback

Illustrations

-

Subject

Sport

Rights

World ex. USA

 

 

  • A shocking sermon for those who worship at the foot of sport – and a welcome break for anyone who loves to hate it!

 

  • Timely publication with the build-up to the European Cup in June and Olympics in August.

 

  • Thought-provoking look at how our belief in the value of sport is misplaced

 

 

 

An acerbic, passionate and witty crusade for a sporting ‘reformation’.

 

 

Common wisdom decrees that sport has an overwhelmingly positive influence on our civilisation. It’s good for your health, builds character, unites nations and generates peace and love and understanding across the globe …

 

Or so we are told by sporting evangelists who spread the word on the back – and now increasingly the front – pages of our newspapers. But are we being sold a lie? Foul Play shows how our belief in the value of sport is misplaced.

 

Tracing the history of organised game-playing, it argues that sport is a last refuge for sexism, racism, homophobia and animal cruelty. It cites neglected research in psychology, showing how playing sport tends to impinge negatively on your morals. And it asks why sports fans are so judgemental about what is, after all, only a game.

 

Foul Play is for anyone who believes that their head is not just for keepie-uppies.

 

 

 

 

Joe Humphreys is an Irish journalist and author. Having been a (highly-unsuccessful) racing tipster, he is currently a staff journalist with the Irish Times, writing news, features, and even occasionally sport. Born and raised in Ireland, he holds an MA in Political Philosophy, supports West Ham United, and lives currently in South Africa .

 

Authors live: South Africa

 


Hi - I thought you might be interested in the above book that we are about to publish. It isn't being published straightaway in the US although it will be available to import through Amazon.co.uk:

Foul Play: What's Wrong with Sport (Paperback) by Joe Humphrys (Author)

If you are interested in doing something with the book on your site do please let me know.

Many thanks
Andrew Furlow
Marketing Director
Icon Books




16 Apr 08


Subject: GREAT SITE


FINALLY A SITE TO SEPARATE THE MORONIC SPORTS FAN FROM THE REGULAR GUY. ONLY A MORON SPENDS $60.00 FOR A CRAPPY SEAT, PAYS $25.00 TO PARK, PAYS $6.00 FOR A HOTDOG, PAYS $8.50 FOR A BEER, ALL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF WATCHING 100 ODD OVERPAID CRYBABIES CHASE A BALL,THROW A BALL,CATCH A BALL OR PLAY WITH THEIR BALLS OR SOMEONE ELSE’S.

AND WHAT’S UP WITH BASEBALL, A BUNCH OF GUYS SPITTING,CHEWING OR SUCKING ON ONE THING OR THE OTHER,WHILE WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO POSSIBLY HIT A BALL. WHAT A BORING GAME.

MY REGARDS.
Robert




16 Apr 08


Subject: I Hate Sport


I Hate Sport. It is horrible. At my high school, sport is second nature. In School, I believe sport should be voluntary. It wastes my time. Yesum, I would rather be inside a classroom doing Shakespeare or doing Science. Not out in the hot day on a dusty oval.

Sam




17 Apr 08


Subject: Goyankees11392

Goyankes11392 wrote that this site should be banned. If it was banned what the hell would this loser do all day? He obviously spends a lot of time on this site spewing his childish banter. I would like to give a probable description of this puke….. He’s probably 15 or 16 years old with severe Acne, just starting to grow pubes, and most likely sits around all day masturbating to football players ass pictures.

This turd, although he has’nt made a comment lately is probably in jail, or probably in the hospital having penis reconstruction surgery,,due to years of stroking it to pictures of baseball and basketball players.

So goyankees11392 if you read this I hope I didn’t interrupt your Homoerotic fantasies of the whole Yankees team gang-banging you in the locker room while your Dad takes pictures and your Mom makes them lunch.,,,for afterward………..you know,,butt slammin can get tiresome.

Good day…………………….I SAID GOOD DAY

Robert




17 Apr 08


Subject: Basketball

Someone please help……..Why in the hell is anyone impressed when a basketball player dunks a ball??? If I was 6 foot 7 inches I could easily do the same. I cannot for the life of me see why anyone would Watch that and think “WOW” .

Now when Spud Webb dunked the ball,,yeah, I could understand that being impressive. But as far as the Rest of these guys are concerned I just don’t get it.

Now as far as role models are concerned, where are they in Sports?

BASEBALL- kick dirt on umpire, Spit in umpires face, throw bat at opponent, fight with opponent, cheat whenever possible ie pinetar,shaving The ball, take performance enhancing drugs, lie in court, lie to the press, lie to the fans, fight with fans etc.

BASKETBALL-fight with opponent, fight with fans, strike umpire, coach throw chairs onto court etc., take asst. drugs

FOOTBALL-fight with fans, fight opponent, fondle opponents ass when possible, take asst drugs, etc.

Take that you Jock QUEERS!!!

Anyone who has a problem with me,,,,my address is 255 I HATE SPORTS DR. HAPPYTOWN NY 34511

Regards

Good day……………………I SAID GOOD DAY
Robert




17 Apr 08


Subject: WTF

Yeah I know,,,basketball has referees not umpires……………now put that in one hand and a pile of shit in the other And see who fuckin cares. I am sorry for the language……….but I know to reach some of you bonehead jocks I must sink to the Lower forms of communication……..to all others I apologize.

GOD………………..this is more fun than watching Joe Theisman’s Leg snap!!

Robert




17 Apr 08


Subject: Good Sports

Now don’t get me wrong there are good sports to watch simply for the visual aspect…………….Womens Gymnastics, Womens Tennis, Womens Volleyball, Womens Diving, Womens Track and Field……etc.

Any sport where a hot chick struts around is cool………….But any sport that includes Large Hairy Gonads….I will pass on that

But for you jocks that love that kind of stimulation…..hey that’s your business,,,but I can still comment on it, and denounce it.

And theres nothing you can do about it.

Good day>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I SAID GOOD DAY

Robert



11 May 08


Subject: Something Else

As a student sitting University entrance examinations I had the choice to not participate in sportlike actions. I chose not to, despite being a picture of lazy: an overweight chocoholic who does more than their fair share of work and exercise (EXERCISE! not sport. I walk the dog).

So, the other day I was angry to hear that a full day of my precious study time (this particular day, due to a timetable anomaly, has over 50% of my English study time in a week on it) was going to be given up for a WHOLE SCHOOL SPORTS DAY. On this day, thankfully, If I chose to go to school I would not have to do anything, instead I would sit out in the rain or heat wasting time. This is a far cry from Primary school sports where I'd be forced to run races and throw various things pointlessly into the air.

I always loathe these days because they separate the men from the boys, the women from the girls (read, the bullies from the outsiders, making it easier for them to find "fresh meat").

Im wagging that day. I have tonnes of homework.

PS: Will you ever put up any new articles?

Alex



24 May 08


Subject:

I hate sports... my mum always bugs me to get a healthy hobby. but sports will not help me when i am older. BUT MAYBE KNOLAGE IN ELECTRONICS WILL.

Dane



30 May 08


Subject: to Dane (letters 08)

Dane,

Maybe learning to spell “knowledge” correctly will help you too.


Two-Dog



4 June 08


Subject: some anti-athletic pride

Your site is a lot of fun and it's funny as well. Most importantly, it makes me realize I'm not alone.

Back in 1985, I worked for a college radio station. The sports announcers there were obnoxious and annoying as hell. During my newscast, I went off on an anti-sports tangent, saying that there are things going on in the world that are ten times more important than sports. Luckily, I didn't get in trouble for this, but I got a series of weird phone calls at my house, with people hanging up after I said hello.

Fast forward to 1997 where I got a job at a credit check company. My manager asked me if I saw the Eagles game last night. I told him I don't follow football. From then on out, I was treated as the odd bird in the place. Occassionally, I would get teased, and then get harassing emails criticizing my job performance. However, I dug in my heels, and refused to leave. Although I ignored them, I did take my anger out on the obnoxious, paranoid customers who requested background checks. And I did get my licks in at the boss during a couple confrontations. Eventually, I was fired, but I did collect unemployment. As far as I'm concerned, I won that battle. I will never let anyone intimidate me into leaving a job when I don't have to.

The next time something like this happens, I'll get a lawyer and file a sports-prejudice suit.

Ted



5 June 08


Subject: more anti-athletic pride

The funniest thing that happened at the credit check company I worked for occurred during the pollyanna of Christmas 2002. My manager was a stereotypical sports addict who was very hard-working, creating the most effective fantasy football leagues. Beneath a picture of George W Bush, a line of jock bobbleheads stood at attention, facing his desk. Him and the asswipe from sales formed a neat little jock alliance.

The festivities were held at a typical macho pub complete with pool table, dartboard, and blaring basketball on TV. He bragged if Allen Iverson ever got busted, he'd love to share a cell with him and play non-stop basketball in jail. The sperm from sales would say to me, "Hey, yo, finish your beer!"

Unfortunately, my manager was on my pollyanna list. I wound up getting him presents. I got him two calendars - that was it. When it was his turn to open them, I said the gift on your left is great for guys, and the gift on your right is great for girls. He gave me a confused look, and tore open the left one quickly.

It turned out to be an Eagles cheerleading calendar. "This is great, thanks a lot." he smiled. When he was challenged with the other gift, the one for girls, he started backing away. "I ain't openin' it." he said. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. Soon the entire office was chanting "Open it! Open it!" The macho manager, nervous and shaking, still refused. Finally, the owner of the company handed him my gift. She told him, "We don't have all night." He stuttered, "O-O-Okay." and slowly, carefully tore open the wrapping.

It turned out to be a kitten calendar, one kitty for each month.

Ted



17 June 08


Subject: Thank the hypothetical God Being!

I am so relieved to discover that I am not the only sane person among a planet full of couch ridden mindless zombies who derive their sense of self worth by vicariously living out the success of steroid addled monkeymen who make a living buy throwing, catching, or otherwise molesting some kind of ball. I am tired of others questioning my masculinity because I don't enjoy watching sweaty muscular men in tights playing with balls(the sexual double entendres in sports are endless). It seems to me that sports are possibly a way for borderline homosexuals to live out their secretly gay desires in a socially excepted venue. Because I have no homosexual tendencies myself, I am immune to the lure of sports fandom. I have nothing against gays, and I think it is time for all these sports fans to come out of the closet, and end this ludicrous charade.

Once again, this is the best site ever! I really hope that together we can find away to reach out to our youth and save them from the cult of sports zombies before it is to late!

A.G.



17 June 08


Subject: dear don,

you're the handsomest of the staff imho! i hate sports too and wrote about it here:

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/lisa-mertins-sports-2069295-lakers-hate

come take a look and feel free to tell the haters :)

Lisa



27 June 08


Subject: Sports, politics, ect...

  As we come closer and closer to elections, I am beginning to understand more and more why this country is in such a piss poor state. A long time ago some brilliant well intentioned old men put their powdered wigs together and came up with a plan. Our founding fathers were educated men who studied Greek Politics, Machiavellian principles, and basic human nature. They decided to take the best ideas and philosophies of the past and incorporate them in order to create the best possible government. They devised a government for the people and of the people, the idea being that the ruling body would actually work for and be chosen by those it governed. In theory people as a whole should be able to put forth a plethora of opposing ideas, discuss them rationally, and then implement the best of those idea's. Such an open forum should produce policy to benefit all of society without violating the rights and freedoms of the individuals that make up that society. In reality people are fucking morons, and the larger the group of people the more ridiculously moronic the people become. I call this phenomenon infanity. Nowhere is this phenomenon more prevalent than in the irrational arena of sports fandom. The mindless mob mentality displayed in sports infanity is the same infanity that dominates politics. People become irrationally invested in a political party the same way they invest there emotions in a sports team. Sense goes out the window, and people blindly support a political party and except the party line verbatim. Anyone who identifies themselves as either a republican or democrat is suffering from infanity. Now without going into why both the republicans and democrats are both equally full of corruption and entirely devoid of intelligence, I would like everyone to take a moment and dissect the nature of party affiliation. Does either party really represent all of your beliefs, or just one or two issues that you feel strongly about ? Is the opposing party really as bad as you make them out to be, can you really say that the people running for office or currently holding office are more evil than Hitler? Have you become so emotionally charged and invested in a party that you ignore the wrongs committed by your team and you can see nothing but evil in the opposing team? Guess what, you have infanity!

  In light of everything I have just discussed, I would like to present a modest Proposal. A test should be created to gage an individual's ability to separate himself from his/her irrational emotions and think logically. Anyone who can pass the test will be allowed to vote in our elections. The test will be given to individuals 18 years of age and older on the 15 of April every year. If you fail you will be given another chance the next year and hopefully you have emotionally matured. However, some activities will constitute automatic failure and bar you for life from ever casting a ballot. Automatic failures will include but not be restricted to:

1. Anyone who has ever painted his/her face at a sporting event.(e.g. "Seinfeld" The Devils, episode)

2. Anyone who has ever slapped their wife in a fit of fan rage after watching their team drop the ball. (there are many good reasons to slap ones wife, the superbowl is not one of them)

3. Anyone who knows the names of more (prepare for oxymoron) sports-heroes than elected officials.

4. Anyone who's IQ is less than the combined final score of a soccer game.

5. Anyone who has ever thrown a punch to defend the honor of a sports team. (violence has it's place, and throwing a punch to defend ones beliefs is admirable, but fighting over which steroid addled (prepare for oxymoron) sports-hero throws a ball the best is never acceptable)

6. If you can spout off the dates and winners of every superbowl, but you are not quite sure when the Berlin wall came down or why it was up in the first place.

7...

I would like to hear anyone else's ideas for automatic failure. Surely there are many I have left out.

A.G.



3 Jul 08


Subject: Letter. HA!

I was reading your sports thing about sports in schools.

What utter and complete truth you speak.

in my school though, things are a bit different we have several different groups of popular.

We of course, have our jocks, but, at my school they're not popular! they're only popular with other jocks, and the plastic who hang around with them.

then theres the pretty populars, who are mostly well spoken middle class girls and boys.

i am continuously thnkful, that my schools students values class over sport.

no one cares about learning though.

Pat



9 Jul 08


Subject: draft the fans

With gas, mortgage, and food prices pulling this country down, I think we should take the most overpaid jocks and bust their salaries open like pinatas and spread the wealth. To be fair, that goes for billionaire celebutantes who don't do a fucking thing.

As for the rabid sports fans, they should be forcibly drafted so they can rechannel their misplaced loyalty into blood soaked, gut churning battle. If a sports team is all you're living for, you might as well sacrifice your life for something better.

-Ted



15 Jul 08


Subject: anti-sports lyrics

This might be the only song I've heard that puts down sports. From Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys, here's Jock-O-Rama:

You really like gorillas?
We've got just the pet for you
It's the way you're forced to act
To survive our schools

Make your whole life revolve around sports
Walk tough-don't act too smart
Be a mean machine
Then we'll let you get ahead

Jock-O-Rama-Save my soul
We're under the thumb of the Beef Patrol
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Pep rally in the holy temple
And you're forced to go
Masturbate en masse
With the favored religious cult
Cheerleaders yell-"Ra Ra Team"
From the locker room parades the prime beef
When archaeologists dig this up
They'll either laugh or cry

Jock-O-Rama-On the brain
Redneck-a-thon drivin' me insane
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Unzip that old time religion
On the almighty football field
Beerbellies of all ages
Come to watch the gladiators bleed
"Now boys, this game ain't played for fun
You're going out there to win
How d'ya win?
Get out there
And snap the other guy's knee!"

Beat 'em up! Beat 'em up!
Ra Ra Ra
Snap those spinal cords
Ha Ha Ha

The star quarterback lies injured
Unconscious on the football field
Looks like his neck's been broken
Seems to happen somewhere every year

His mom and dad clutch themselves and cry
Their favorite son will never walk again
Coach says, "That boy gave a hundred percent
What spirit
What a man"

But who cares?
Games over-Let's go get wasted man
To the 7-11, to the liquor store
Let's party all night and party some more

Another Trans-Am
Wrapped itself around a telephone pole
"I ain't drunk, officer
I just fell gettin' out of my car"

Don't worry about it, son
We were that way when we were young
You've got all the skills
To make a damn good businessman

Jock-O-Rama-that's the law
Come lick the butts of the Beef Patrol
If the future of America is handed to them
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls

c1985

Ted



24 Jul 08


Subject: Awesome Site!

I've been trying to find a site like this for ages. I thought I was alone in the world as a sports hater. Keep up the good work!

Eric



27 Jul 08


Subject: Typical

As usual, the most violent crimes are committed by members of the high school football team...Here's another example:

PORT CARBON, Pa. (AP) - Three white teens were charged Friday in what officials said was an epithet-filled fatal beating of an illegal Mexican immigrant in a small northeast Pennsylvania coal town. Brandon J. Piekarsky, 16, and Colin J. Walsh, 17, were charged as adults with homicide and ethnic intimidation in the July 12 attack on Luis Ramirez.

A third teen, Derrick M. Donchak, 18, was charged with aggravated assault, ethnic intimidation and other offenses. All are from Shenandoah, where the attack occurred.

Additional charges are expected in the case that has roiled Shenandoah, a small, economically depressed town where police have reported friction between whites and a growing Hispanic population.

The suspects played football at Shenandoah Valley High School; Donchak, now enrolled at Bloomsburg University, was the quarterback last season.

"As a result of this crime, a young man has lost his life. Many other lives have been devastated, and the borough of Shenandoah has been filled with tensions between many ethnic groups," Schuylkill County District Attorney James Goodman said.

"Now that the criminal charges have been filed, we must let this case be handled in the criminal justice system," he said.

According to a police affidavit, the defendants and three 17-year-olds encountered Ramirez, 25, and a teenage girl in a park the night of July 12.

The youths goaded Ramirez and the girl, saying, "You should get out of this neighborhood" and "Get your Mexican boyfriend out of here," documents said. After Ramirez and the girl began walking away, someone yelled an ethnic slur at him, court documents said. He responded, "What's your problem?"

A fight ensued, during which police said Walsh punched Ramirez in the face. The victim fell and hit his head on the street, leaving him unconscious, after which Piekarsky kicked him in the head, police said.

All three suspects used ethnic slurs during the fight, which ended with Ramirez in convulsions and foaming at the mouth, authorities said. The attackers fled the scene; Ramirez underwent surgery but died July 14 of head injuries.

Piekarsky and Walsh were being held without bail, while Donchak was held on $75,000 bail.

Lawyers for Piekarsky and Walsh said their clients are not guilty and that there was no evidence to support the homicide charges. They also said they would try to have the case removed to juvenile court.

Roger Laguna, Walsh's lawyer, said the police affidavit "pretty much describes chaos, and what you have then after the fact is somebody trying to sort through that and attribute certain acts to certain individuals."

He said that although slurs might have been used, the fight was not motivated by ethnicity.

"I think any time there's a fight and any time you have one ethnic group fighting another, there's going to be racial slurs," he said. "I've seen that since I was a kid on a playground 20 years ago, but they never called it ethnic intimidation until very recently."

Frederick Fanelli, Piekarsky's lawyer, said he is "surprised and disappointed" that his client faces a homicide charge, attributing Ramirez's death to a "street fight that ended tragically."

Donchak declined to comment.

Ramirez, who entered the U.S. illegally about six years ago, worked in a factory and picked strawberries and cherries.

Crystal Dillman, the victim's 24-year-old fiancee, who is white and grew up in Shenandoah, has said Ramirez was often called derogatory names and told to return to his homeland. The couple had two children together, and Dillman also has a 3-year-old who thought of Ramirez as her father.

"I plan on moving out of this town as fast as I can. Not because I'm scared. I just don't want to see my children have to deal with what their father dealt with," Dillman said.

Preliminary hearings for all three suspects were set for Aug. 4.

Goodman said a fourth teen will be charged as a juvenile with aggravated assault and ethnic intimidation and that charges also will be filed against a man who provided alcohol to the defendants hours before the attack.

Ray



9 Aug 08


Subject: Spreadin' the word

When I'm not writing to you guys, I spread the word on YouTube. Here's an exchange.

Whoo Hoo! It's Friday Night Lights!!

Go Odessa! Just kidding. Jocks suck.

why do you hate jocks?

Where do I begin? How 'bout overrated, overpaid, dumb, arrogant, redneck, asswipe retards.

First off, im a jock and im not overpaid, im not dumb, im not even close to being a redneck. you cant just hate a whole group of people by how some of them act.

Sure I can.

There you have it. No excuses, no explanations, end of convo. So when the letters stop, the sentiment goes on elsewhere. Keep rockin!

- Ted



15 Aug 08


Subject:

Am I the only person on the planet who does not care a rodent’s ringpiece about the olamepics? People who do not usually care for sports will get very excited about this yawn-fest, rooting for their country and denigrating another just because someone can ride a bicycle faster than someone else. Do sports haters get this het up about the drivelly-arsed world cup soccer tournament every four years? No, because it is a bore. So what is special about the olamepics? After all, it’s just more boring sports! It’s no different from the soccer world cup, the baseball world series, or two kids playing tiddlywinks on a card table.

Someone asked me this week if I am watching the olamepics. I said, “I don’t watch sports.”

“It’s not sports*, it’s an international (blah blah blah)...”

“I don’t watch sports.”

“But you are supposed to root for your country (blather drivel shite)...”

“I don’t watch sports.”

Heaven forbid I should spoil someone’s enjoyment of these activities, but I find it a bit hypocritical that people who normally are commendably disdainful of sports will suddenly be interested, even fanatical, when sports are tarted up as the olamepic games. I don’t want to hear about them, particularly from armchair experts or ex-jocks living their lives vicariously through this piffle or getting boorishly nationalistic over someone splashing about in a swimming pool. I hate sports, whether it’s a local kids’ soccer game in the park or someone running about somewhere in communist China, and I can say with some pride that I have watched not one moment of this adolescent piffle.

Sports suck.

*The olamepics are not sports? What the hell are they then? Warfare? Nope: borefare.

Two-Dog



21 Aug 08


Subject: Another Sports Suck comment

I agree with 2-Dog on the olympics thing. Never seen such hoo-ha for nothing. I always dread the hype and drivel surrounding olympic events, but this year's oversaturated media coverage is brutal. I imagine it's a corpororate/media cabal to divert our attention away from the sad state our once great country is in. The same korporate [sic] media who admonish us populists for thinking our country's sovereignty and well being is a silly concern, that it's profits profits profits that matter, citizens be damned, now want us all to rally around the flag....over a SPORT?!!!

The sportshead loonies where I work ( who already make the break/lunchroom unhinabitable with sports talk and constantly blaring ESPN on the TV always ) have even outdid themselves: Now they rush home so they can anxiously await results from an event in a sport they previously had no interest in. "We" won gold/silver/bronze blah blah blah.............. You'd swear some would want to lob an ICBM at a nation who's player beat one of "ours", so passionate are they. Meatheads.

Tom



23 Aug 08


Subject: (no subject)

Well said, Tom. You can have some national pride without believing that your country's international standing will be sullied if a foreigner runs faster than one of your countrymen. Also, those who like watching sports can enjoy them without elevating the activities to a level of importance undeserved by inconsequential children's games.

Two-Dog



27 Aug 08


Subject: (no subject)

Well, I wasn't going to say anything but after looking (and laughing my ass off) at many of these letters from sports fans I feel inclined to bring up a few points.

First, many of these fans have mentioned that they don't mind that we hate sports but we shouldn't have a site dedicated to the eradication of sports because it's "rude". That's right, it's "rude". Supposedly because we try to crush sports and the idealism of them. But is it not rude to continually shove useless information on who won the basketball game in our face and then be infuriated when we don't care? Is it not rude to refer to any people who dislike sports as "gay" or "fags"?

And, furthermore, why is it perfectly acceptable to have a website dedicated to glorifying sports but not to make one that looks down on them? Isn't the point of websites to express the opinions of the creator?

Sure, we think it's alright for you to like sports but maybe we think it's rude that you're trying to crush US and our nonconformity. Perhaps we should try and have those sites banned?

Second, after reading many of these messages about how the site should be banned, among other things, it occurred to me that "What are sports fans doing on a sports haters’ website anyway?" You'd think if they love sports so much they wouldn't be google-ing "sports suck" or "I hate sports". I'm willing to bet that when searching for the latest sports scores or who knows what, this site is not the first on the list. Unless they really are that dimwitted to have "accidentally" clicked on a site that is obviously not going to tell them the latest scores of Derek Jeter.

Third, I still fail to see why anyone who dislikes sports must automatically be stupid. I admit I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box, but I do have a brain which I use at least 95% of the time. A lot of fat, beer-swigging, forty-year-old men can't say the same, as they spend the whole day sitting on a couch in front of the TV screaming "GOOOOOOOOAL" every time the ball goes in the God forsaken net.

I believe I had other points but, unfortunately, I’ve forgotten them. I may email again when I remember them.

And to clear things up, I am a fifteen-year-old girl. All sports fan who care to crush this email in their might muscled fists may abuse that fact as much as they wish.

Cheers,
Ryou



28 Aug 08


Subject: Stirring up the hive

On YouTube, I threw a stone at the jock's nest again:

One night they pre-empted my favorite show, Ghost Whisperer, for this stupid jock crap. No way is your stupid football shit more important than my show.

Their responses:

....must be a cowboys fan....thats a JOKEEEEEE....dis guy is a faggot....pukes like you don't get it....fuck your stupid faggot show eagles rock....eagles rock motha fucka....If you say so. Hoist the Lombardi trophy and the ya'll get some r-e-s-p-e-c-t....well arent u mister cranky pants whats rong that time of month again...

Note the immediate reference to homosexuality and large phallic objects (trophies). Also, an Us vs. Them mentality is what gives two of these commenters' lives meaning. No surprise here. Clearly, these fans have problems.

-Ted



28 Aug 08


Subject: Stirring up the hive

I just don't get HOW anyone thinks that people who aren't interested in football are GAY! When the facts --the idolizing of other men in tight pants--suggest the opposite --that sports fans are gay. Sports fans are the sickest and poorest examples of adult behavior. They are walking collections of insecurities and fear and loathing.

Ray



27 Sep 08


Subject: Sports Suck

This site rocks! I cant express how much I hate sports. When I was young I thought there was something wrong with me because I didnt like playing sports. As an adult my municipal job sometimes places me in the position of having to cover a sporting event. The only thing WORSE than sports is YOUTH SPORTS! You ever watch the parents of these poor children during one of these events? They are friggin NUTS! Every parent thinks their kid is Wayne Gretsky or ...... that famous guy that kicks the soccer ball around. Know dont get me wrong, If children want to play a sport they should be encouraged to have fun doing so but keep the fanatical parents out of the mix. Pee Wee hockey should not involve 2 police agencies and tear gas! Now on to our local farm leauge sports..... Our farm league football team is just that.... a farm leauge football team. I worked a game one night and this woman who is a known jobless welfare baby factory shows up decked head to toe in the team colors. Her voice is the only voice that can be heard over the p.a. from the other side of the stadium. She had 2 cell phones with internet access. ( and 8 kids running loose under the bleachers). She would scream out a random sports score from what ever team happend to be playing at that time. I recall hearing one of the fans shouting "Who Cares" at her. After the game all I wanted to do was shut off the lights and go home but NO we have to have 2 and 1/2 hours of interviews with back woods news crews. I can sum each game up this way-- They came, They played ball, Now go the fuck home! On the plus side all these games are overtime pay and sometimes I go home after turning on the lights only to come back in time to shut them off. Everyone is so engrossed with their game that no one knows Im not there and I get a full 10 hours overtime pay Ha Ha Suckers!! Sports Suck!

Linda



30 Sep 08


Subject: Sports at 6:45 am

Today I had the misfortune of sharing the morning train with a loudmouth. He sat in the next compartment and talked a steady sewage-stream of sports stats over his cellphone. When that wasn't enough, he erupted into cheers. He was a stumpy pig of a man who'd look good on the football field only if he was a naked St. Bernard with a football under his chin instead of a little barrel. The whole train was silent and sleepy except for him.

Even when he chanted, "E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!!" at the top of his lungs, no one paid him any mind.

However, I had to get involved when he blurted his moronic chant a second time:

E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

That shut his hole for the rest of the ride. Sometimes it feels really good to get involved.

-Ted



4 Oct 08


Subject:


Stupid
Pathetic
Organized
Repetitive
Task


-Nathan



5 Oct 08


Subject: Another Aussie Sports Hater

It can be hard being an Australian AND a sports hater. When someone says to me something like "how good were the Bulldogs last weekend?" my eyes just glaze over. I used to mumble something to show that I was somewhat interested but now I am out and proud as a sports hater. Now I just simply say "I don't follow league, or any other sports for that matter" and watch the stunned look on their face. It's like, you're a guy, how can you not like sport? I love the reactions I get, it's almost a sport in itself!!

A few years back during some downtime at work I was having a very good conversation with a fellow worker about climate change, peak oil, alternative energy, hybrid cars etc. In our own little way we were doing our bit to save the world. Another two guys were sitting there with blank looks on their faces, the talk was obviously way over their heads. So one Thugby nut says loudly and over the top of my conversation to the other "So what's your tips for the weekend?". They continued their inane conversation loudly so that was the end of my conversation.

My hatred of sports goes way back to childhood. Australian born but growing up in the UK, I have memories of playing football in the middle of winter with frost on the grass and fog so thick you can't see the goal at the other end! What was the point in that? Coming back to Australia and the old Thugby League was the game of choice and more misery. School thugby seemed just an excuse for big kids to pick on the smaller ones in full view of the teachers without fear of punishment. Cricket was more torture, having to stand around in the summer sun (a form of torture for the fair skinned like me) waiting for something, anything to happen. It was a little better to be on the batting side, at least you could sit down and everyone knew I was hopeless so I never got a turn to bat. After a while I just "forgot" to bring my sports clothes, those who did had to spend the time sitting in the library. This was my favourite sporting position, Left Right Out!

signed Aussie Sports Hater



22 Oct 08


Subject: Sports really do suck!

Thank you! I cannot stand it. It's not the actual sports franchise that I hate, it's the PEOPLE! They act like there should be a HOLOCAUST on people who hate sports. Retards! When I tell people I don't like sports, they look at me like I have leprosy or something. Then they tell everyone "He doesn't like sports!" Then I'm mad! Just the other day I was chastized because a girl threw a ball more accurately than me. First of all, I have symptoms of a mental disorder (Aspergers) that makes hand-eye coordination diffcult. I absolutely can't stand it when they say "She threw better than you. That's saying something!" Yeah it is. That you have absolutely nothing better to do than to put me down for something I can't even change. Even if I could play sports, I wouldn't because I would rather stick with my friends now (who are girls by the way, but I really don't care. I get to hear a lot of things if you know what I mean. ;)) than impress some loser who thinks that catching a ball and throwing it in a net all of a sudden gives you god-like status. I'm not saying it's not hard, but they sure as anything better not say that being a doctor, politician, or economist isn't hard. You know, people who actually make a difference in the world and don't earn billions of dollars for punting, then giving away millions just to make them look good. I'm not saying all are like this. Defininitely most are though. I hate it when people treat me like a "fag" because I don't like sports. They have failed to address my argument about how watching guys stick their butts in peoples faces to get a football handed to them, then get a bunch of guys jump on top of them is NOT "gay". Then I tell them that anyone who thinks sports matter in life is a "fag". Then they go say "He said sports don't matter. Yeah they kinda do." OK then HOW? They NEVER could give me ONE reason! Anyone want to give me a reason? E-mail address is ryanstarwars@yahoo.com. Take me! I love a good debate! Pop culture sucks! Sports fans suck! SPORTS SUCK!!!

Ryan



10 Nov 08


Subject: "fags"

Please excuse me if this has been said before in these hallowed pages, but it seems to me that sports fans and jocks who tell fine, upstanding anti-sports chaps that we are homosexuals are ignoring something obvious. Still, maybe it's only obvious to those of us with intelligence and discernment.

This may be earth-shattering to some jocks who can see no further than their noses, but it stands to reason that there are many gay people who enjoy sports, either to watch or to play, just as there are many heterosexuals who do NOT enjoy them. Unfortunately, however, it's no good trying to say that when some boorish jock is rudely shouting you down with "fag, queer, you're not A Real Man* " and similar rubbish, because he can't state his case reasonably or intelligently.

And plenty of people here have already mentioned how disturbingly "queer" some of these contact sports seem to be.

*Just what the heck is A Real Man? Come to think of it, as an average straight guy, I'd much rather converse with homosexuals who are uninterested in watching idiots chase a ball than heterosexual sports fans.

Two-Dog



21 Nov 08


Subject: "fags"

Please excuse me if this has been said before in these hallowed pages, but it seems to me that sports fans and jocks who tell fine, upstanding anti-sports chaps that we are homosexuals are ignoring something obvious. Still, maybe it's only obvious to those of us with intelligence and discernment.

Let me start by saying that I totally agree. I'm pretty sure this has been said before, but these people have got to get it in their heads.

This may be earth-shattering to some jocks who can see no further than their noses, but it stands to reason that there are many gay people who enjoy sports, either to watch or to play, just as there are many heterosexuals who do NOT enjoy them. Unfortunately, however, it's no good trying to say that when some boorish jock is rudely shouting you down with "fag, queer, you're not A Real Man* " and similar rubbish, because he can't state his case reasonably or intelligently.

Exactly! I know of gay people who enjoy sports. In fact, I have had those people tell me they like sports BECAUSE they are gay. Although, for the most part, I'd have to disagree with you on the asterisk "

*Just what the heck is A Real Man? Come to think of it, as an average straight guy, I'd much rather converse with homosexuals who are uninterested in watching idiots chase a ball than heterosexual sports fans. " I do agree with the basis of it. Here's a rule to go by. When your opponent resorts to insults, it is his way of telling you that you have won without actually conceding the victory. Take it as victory, not insult, when your opponent resorts to "ad hominem."

And plenty of people here have already mentioned how disturbingly "queer" some of these contact sports seem to be.

When I was in middle school, we played flag football in P.E./Gym. I had to play "Center" which is the guy who holds the football on the ground before the play, then "snaps" it to the quarterback. As such, my butt was direcly in the QB's face, which felt extremely disturbing. They said, "Take it like a man." Okay. I would assume that a man sticking his butt in another man's face and feeling okay with it is less than a man I am. Apparently though, I am mistaken!

It appears that this is the only site on the web that will keep me sane through high school. One of these days, I'll start an anti-sports "blogspot" and post this link on there. It'll bring more publicity to the site. I hope.

Keep the peace!

Ryan



25 Nov 08


Subject: I totally agree!

I don't understand what the heck is so great about sports. They exhaust you to the point of near-death through running, jumping, ducking, weaving, hurling, catching (repeat ad infinitum) and for what? THE MINDLESS PURSUIT OF THROWING A BALL AROUND. I myself am not averse to jogging in the morning or having a friendly game of soccer with pals, but when it comes to competitive sports it simply gets INANE. "Oh, that was out!" "No, it wasn't!" "I was standing right there!" "You're just trying to cheat!" WHO THE @#$% CARES?! IT'S A BALL THAT FELL CLOSE TO A LINE. Arguing about which side it fell on is like arguing about where you parked the car (which, by the way, is FAR MORE IMPORTANT): It doesn't matter where it was, what matters is where it is NOW. High schools and universities nowadays actually value athletic over academic prowess nowadays! The way THEY see it is that instead of accepting 100 smart people and therefore spreading their name, they can simply get an athlete and get famous a lot faster for THEIR SPORTS TEAM. AND THE 100 SMART PEOPLE HAVE TO GO TO SUB-PAR UNIVERSITIES AND BE UNABLE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOCIETY. THAT'S 100 LOST POTENTIAL EINSTIENS AND LORENZES AND BOHRS AND SCHWARSCHILDS AND HAWKINGS. News flash: Competition has beat out money as the root of all evil! It encourages anger and provides an excuse for athletic types to take out all their problems on anyone who misses the catch! And don't get me started on jocks: They basically have no brains and whatever peanut-sized dead brain tissue is in there is filled to the brim with game times and statistics (Though I doubt they can add or subtract any of those figures). My only consolation is that even though they bully anyone they see as below them just to show their superiority, but when comes time for job-seeking, they'll have some kind of heavy load-lifting job and slave away every day for menial pay until all their precious muscles waste away and all that's left is this worthless old homeless guy on the street. I have personal experience when it comes to jocks and bullying: For years I was bullied because I refused to join any sports teams, and therefore was not "cool". I enjoyed art, science and drama more than sport, and and therefore was labeled "gay" and a nerd. I am proud of being a nerd. I accept the title. But the malicious intent behind it was painful. I was for the most part shunned when it came to anything outside of class. Even now I have trouble socializing because no one ever spoke to me at school. I never really saw the point in sports, so my entire school life had to be a mixture of abuse and silence? I was no good at sports, so instead of being accepted (and perhaps then I would have been encouraged to get better), I had to be yelled at every time I missed the ball? To me, sports is the bane of the universe and we should just build giant enclosures and just have all sports fans in their own little useless inane ball-kicking world.

Grr.

Yours,

Isaac

P.S. Here's a link to this article I wrote on the interuniversally accepted standard of nerdiness (from Nerd Levels -5 to 5.)

Nerdity



27 Nov 08


Subject: Happy Thanksgiving?

It's Thanksgiving at the time I am typing this. And something occured to me. Why is there football on Thanksgiving Day? I thought Thanksgiving was supposed to be a time spent with loved ones, not lumping around a TV screen, drooling over the Detroit Lions. It's ridiculous. Thanksgiving was a holiday established in 1621, when the Pilgrims and Native Americans had a feast in honor of their expedition to the New World. Many of them had died from disease and they hardly had any food to survive off of in the winter. Today we honor that tradition. Isn't this much more important than a stupid football game? Shouldn't we appreciate the risks our fore-fathers took and spend this holiday with family, as we should? Sports on Thanksgiving should be banned indefinitely!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Ryan



30 Nov 08


Subject: Forget animal control - we need jock control

"I apologize to my friends, my family, my fans, and the kids who looked up to me." - Michael Vick

Typical quote from an infamous, sadistic jock retard. Not only does it deny the suffering of the defenseless animals he killed, but it looks out for the people that are always on his side. Remember, the other side must always lose. Also, it puts forth that overused cliche - kids always need someone to look up to. I guess if you're a kid these days and don't look up to anyone, especially an athlete, and are prone to live in your imagination, you're in big trouble.

Now tell me why I should be concerned about a spoiled dog-torturing jock's redemption? It seems his supporters (incredibly, there are some) are saying he needs to rehab his image and get back in the game. Never mind the fact that there are other people rotting away with 20 to 30 year prison terms over their heads for lesser offenses, such as drugs, burglary, and simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. No, the jock can't be punished too much. Put him back in the arena so we can cheer him on to break more heads.

I am so tired of this dim-witted sports culture. To football worshipping Odessa, Texas: You all suck jock cock. You all have a massive inferiority complex which needs to be exorcised through the marines. Quit your bawling about losing teams and do something constructive, you crybaby, redneck, drunk losers.

To poor wannabe athletes, trying to break out of your ghettos, your gangs, your gulags: I really don't give a shit about you. I'd rather bad drugs, bullets, or the bird flu finish you off than to have your exploits shoved down my throat from the TV, the newspapers, and the internet every day. Stay stuck in your poverty and shove your vain, struggling glory up your ass.

Tell me something. Who would you rather save? A rich jock drowning in a tar pit, or a basket of labrador retriever puppies sinking in quicksand? I'll save the labrador puppies. C'mere you widdle cutie pies eeedooweebeets!! Daddy wuvs yoo!!

-Ted



4 Dec 08


Subject: School Funds?

Something that's annoyed me lately is my school's inability to see what truly matters. I don't understand what goes on in these people's heads. Here's the story.

Last year, for some reason, the wall in the gym all of a sudden gave way. While no one was in the gym at the time, it posed a danger to the students. School had to be shut down for a few days while the gym was repaired. I go to a private school. I figured it would cost a few thousand dollars to repair and then we would put this all behind us. Of course not! During the summer Mr. Davis (the principal) announced that we would get an all new gym! The students cheered, while I sat in dismay. I knew what was coming.

The total cost of the gym ended up being $1.5 MILLION! For a stupid gym! Since it's not government-funded what does that mean? Increased tuition, 5 fundraisers every month, cancelled school field trips, less money on education, less salary for staff, less heating and air conditioning, etc. Not to mention the sheer annoyance of hearing construction workers every day. All for a gym that looked the exact same as before, with a tiny bit more room and an icon in the middle of the court.

However, the gym failed inspection! That means we have to sit here for even longer while the school spends even more money to make it pass inspection. The whole process is ridiculous and absolutely pointless.

Just something that's been on my chest,

Ryan



5 Dec 08


Subject: I tried to get interested but couldn't

Ok I admit I sold out and decided to go to a few football games, but have just realised what a waste of money it was and how boring the whole thing was. I also sat through some monotonous 0-0 game on the television this week with some friends in the pub and then realised: what a waste of time it was watching some guys who are on £ 150,000 a week who couldn't be bothered to even play a decent game to entertain the fans who have spent a fortune in entry fees and television subscriptions. No, all the players seem interested in is making vast amounts of money at our expense, play a mediocre game, then go home in their Aston Martins and Hummers and blow their money on champagne, gambling and their greedy, amoral partners, known as WAGs over here.

Yet the sheep who follow the game seem oblivious to how they are being conned by greedy television companies, greedy club chairman( the cheapest tickets are rarely less than £ 20 now), and greedy players, who seem to want more and more, and in the top flight moan if they can't get £ 100,000 a week. Meanwhile people are losing their jobs left right and centre, wages are falling behind prices and people in really valuable professions such as nurses earn a pittance. However, a prima donna who kicks a ball around can command ten times more in a week than a nurse, but yet these jerks seem to be regarded far more highly than someone who can save your life. As I said, I tried it for a while but got sick of the boring, endless conversations about who was and wasn't offside, the herd mentality of a lot of the fans and the overkill in television coverage and money the game gets.

Yours in disgust

Glenn of England



6 Dec 08


Subject:

I did something interesting today: I avoided the endless sports programmes on the television and watched Fiddler on the Roof, an excellent film that still is a good way to spend 3 hours. No doubt when I arrive at the pub tonight, it will be did you see the results, Joe Bloggs should have been offside, but wasn't, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. When questioned I shall admit I was more interested in Topol's performance in Fiddler on the Roof and some King Crimson tunes I have downloaded tonight. I can live without team sports quite happily, thankyou.

Glenn of England.



20 Dec 08


Subject: hell yea!

Sorry if my subject line sounds a tad redneck, but I love your site 100% and I agree thoroughly!!! I was especially enthused by the "Free Our Schools!" section of your website. This sounds exactly like my school. I know this may not be the wisest idea, but I will say where I go to school anyways: I am a Sophomore at Joshua High School, in Joshua, Texas. It is a little hick town you may have never heard of, but it is so concentrated around sports that is PATHETIC! There is little to no enthusiasm for education, which, as I know you agree, is the main purpose of school! I'm a member of the Debate Team, and we have plenty of trouble trying to finance our trips due to all the money going to sports and, obviously, have trouble trying to get people to join because of sports. It is so disgusting, the excitement my peers gain from having, what they, in all seriousness consider to be 'intellectual debates' or various sports teams, mostly about the Cowboys and they're competetors since we are in Texas. The school board has even approved the removal of books from every class except Science to save money to spend on a brand new Football stadium being built. We only have books for Science because we scored the lowest last year in our Science finals. The degeneration of the mind is so evident among my peers, but if feels as if I'm powerless to reverse it. There are, at the least, 4 coaches for each department like the Science department and the History department. Of course, you don't need me to tell you that they're horrible teachers. If you're lucky enough not to have a coach as a teacher, you will, more than likely, have a sports obsessed hick as a teacher. Or just a hick. It seems like if you don't care about sports, almost every teacher despises you. You should go to www.joshuaisd.org, and go to the drop-down menu of all the schools, and click on Joshua High School. Once on the home page, go to "Organizations" and click on Athletics, and explore all the different things listed under it. Then go back to "Organizations" and click "NHS" or "UIL Academics" and explore those. You will be surprised at the lack of information on the Academics links as opposed to the Athletics links. Thank you for reading all of this and I just thought I'd lend my input!

Thanks,
A Joshua HS student



24 Dec 08


Subject: Sports Movies for Sports Haters on Your Christmas List

Fear Strikes Out, starring Anthony Perkins and Karl Malden. That's the only movie I can think of.

-Ted