ChrisOH wrote:You know what? Fat Man had a good idea earlier in this thread, so I'll just build on that....
Why don't we just take all the money that's currently going to social-services programs -- Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, jobless benefits, hell, take it all -- and give it all to the sports players and owners, so they can have all the money they want, and never have to worry about another work stoppage ever again! Social programs -- pshaw, those are for wussies anyway; who needs them? What we really need in this country is professional sports!
Meanwhile, as Fat Man said, those of us with the misfortune to be unemployed, disabled, or homeless, can just be moved into sports stadiums to sleep in the stands and eat meager rations. They might even let us clean the toilets just so we feel useful!
So, the less fortunate among us get our hand-to-mouth existence, while the Republicans and their rich, kiss-ass cronies get to be entertained with their ball games on their big-screen TVs! See, works out perfectly!
"Excuse me, sir, may I please have some relish on my stale hot dog? Oh, sorry, I forgot -- the relish budget got cut to pay the guy who just dropped the ball out on the field!"
Am I being too sarcastic here? Don't mind if I do!
Yes, and all the wealthy Retardicans will be watching the games on their great big fancy flat screen high definition TVs. At the beginning of each game, Pat Robertson of the 700 Club will be there to pray for a good game, and on some special occasions, the Pope from the Vatican will fly in to bless the players.
Of course while all these wealthy Retardicans are watching the games, they'll probably notice that the spectators sitting on the bleachers don't look very enthusiastic, not cheering or anything.
But then, it's hard for people to appear enthusiastic when they are living on their meager rations, so the bleachers will have to be rigged to give the spectators electric shocks so that they'll jump up and scream out in pain, and then a voice announcing over the loud speakers saying "Just look at the fans! They're going wild! This is a great game folks! Just look at the enthusiasm among the spectators!"
And then of course, the spectators sitting on the side of the arena with the winning team will be rewarded an extra hot dog on a stale bun and a small 6 ounce cup of watered down Coke for the kids and a 4 ounce cup of watered down beer for the adults.
As for the children who cry from having been administered electric shocks on the bleachers, well, after the game is over, and the professional players have left to go back to their $100 million dollar luxury homes in their $100 thousand dollar hummers given to them for free by the state, the children will be escorted by the police into the locker rooms to be punished for their misbehavior by getting beaten and raped, and then they'll be warned to keep their mouths shut because if they say anything, then something really bad will happen to their parents.
You see, sports must always involve some kind of sex!
Hey everybody!
Lets make a game out of this topic!
Lets see who can make the most cynical post!
Just remember . . . it's really not funny, but actually, kind of pathetic.
I'm fat and sassy! I love to sing & dance & stomp my feet & really rock your world!
