online confession of a former bully

[ChrisOH]

If he was really sorry, he should make up for it with his life, instead of making a pathetic plea and feeling good about himself just because he made a confession.

I think it's a bit much to say he should pay with his life. That being said, I don't see much sincerity or remorse in his confession. All he did was admit that the nerd won in life and him and his jock buddies hadn't gone anywhere near as far. I don't think he genuinely felt bad about what he did. In fact, if he'd ended up becoming a famous football player on a million-dollar salary, he'd probably still be laughing about his bully days now.

I can't speak for Imperialist, but I read his post to mean the bully should "pay" by living a life that means something and doing things that were constructive for others, instead of just merely confessing. I didn't see it as meaning the bully should actually lose his life.

[Fat Man]

Well, I think the only reason why Bob Bestler (Bob Worstler) is sorry is because he turned out to be such a fucking a loooooooooooooser!!!

If he had been making $10 million dollars per year chasing a football and living in a 100 room mansion with a 7 car garage with 5 Hummers parked inside then, he would not be feeling so apologetic.

He's just sorry because he failed in life while the victim of his past bullying became successful.

Now, if the victim of his past bullying had not been successful, then Bob Bestler would be feeling triumphant, even if he were living in a single axle trailer home chugging down Buckhorn Beer, as long as his victim was also not successful.

He's only sorry because he is a fucked up failure!!!

[i_like_1981]

If he was really sorry, he should make up for it with his life, instead of making a pathetic plea and feeling good about himself just because he made a confession.

I think it's a bit much to say he should pay with his life. That being said, I don't see much sincerity or remorse in his confession. All he did was admit that the nerd won in life and him and his jock buddies hadn't gone anywhere near as far. I don't think he genuinely felt bad about what he did. In fact, if he'd ended up becoming a famous football player on a million-dollar salary, he'd probably still be laughing about his bully days now.

I can't speak for Imperialist, but I read his post to mean the bully should "pay" by living a life that means something and doing things that were constructive for others, instead of just merely confessing. I didn't see it as meaning the bully should actually lose his life.

Well, you've got a point there, and I suppose that is the best thing that a person can do in order to make up for bad acts in the past - try their best to change their ways and do good for the world. However, I was on this forum back when The Imperialist was posting several posts every day and he did tend to have some rather extreme viewpoints on certain issues, so I wouldn't put it past him to have meant "make up with his life" as getting killed. The Imperialist is also one for these dramatic and exaggerated statements. He was quite a character on this forum back when he did loads of posts regularly. As for Bestler, I don't wish death upon him at all, but I'm not so liberal when it comes to bullies who actually drive their victims to their deaths unlike this guy who ended up the loser in life on the whole. I wouldn't want to go near an ex-bully whose bullying in the past had made their victim kill themselves. Bestler is not the worst kind of bully who I hold in the highest level of contempt. He's some ex-jock who found out how successful a former victim of his had become and has now made some bland, sterile confession of what he did in a hope of seeming like a "decent person" in the end.

Best regards,
i_like_1981

[ChrisOH]

As for Bestler, I don't wish death upon him at all, but I'm not so liberal when it comes to bullies who actually drive their victims to their deaths unlike this guy who ended up the loser in life on the whole. I wouldn't want to go near an ex-bully whose bullying in the past had made their victim kill themselves. Bestler is not the worst kind of bully who I hold in the highest level of contempt. He's some ex-jock who found out how successful a former victim of his had become and has now made some bland, sterile confession of what he did in a hope of seeming like a "decent person" in the end.

I've had several former high-school classmates, who were bullies back then, recently want to "friend" me on Facebook. I've declined their invitations, simply because I don't wish to revisit those types of memories any more than I do as it is. Now, it's possible they've changed over 20-some years and matured, but I still don't wish to associate with them -- to me, that's just part of the consequences of bad behavior. You can't treat somewhat like shit and then years later, pop back into their lives and act like nothing happened -- at least not in my book.

[Earl]

Either way, I'd like to succeed in life, and in a few decades, go to my reunion and make it clear that I've gotten farther than all of the douchebags from school. I can just imagine it now "Oh really, you're working at the gas station? Hmm... Oh, right, I think I remember seeing you there when I was filling up my Cadillac". Maybe I'm getting to ahead of myself, but I'm sure it would feel good to see them as failures at life in the future.

Okay, but I still say that if you let them dominate your thoughts in any way, or if you spend a second of your time thinking about them (as anything except than obstacles that you unfortunately have to negotiate), then they have won. Some bullies are so farcically stupid that it makes about as much sense to seek revenge against them as it would to relish the idea revenge against a rat living in your walls.

--RF

Your point is well-taken, recovering_fan. (I would even say that bullied kids need to be taught ways to deal with their situation. Bullied kids should be empowered somehow.) But those of us who are members of this forum have every right to criticize those who have bullied others or are, in fact, bullying others today. You should be aware there are even many adults in this country who condone the bullying of students in schools. School bullies are often excused and defended. People say that bullying is a part of life and therefore bullying should be tolerated instead of receiving the social scorn that it so richly deserves. Using the flawed argument that bullying is part of life is like saying that adultery is part of life, mugging is part of life, rape is part of life, child abuse is part of life. Actually, school bullying is child abuse.

[Fat Man]

Your point is well-taken, recovering_fan. (I would even say that bullied kids need to be taught ways to deal with their situation. Bullied kids should be empowered somehow.) But those of us who are members of this forum have every right to criticize those who have bullied others or are, in fact, bullying others today. You should be aware there are even many adults in this country who condone the bullying of students in schools. School bullies are often excused and defended. People say that bullying is a part of life and therefore bullying should be tolerated instead of receiving the social scorn that it so richly deserves. Using the flawed argument that bullying is part of life is like saying that adultery is part of life, mugging is part of life, rape is part of life, child abuse is part of life. Actually, school bullying is child abuse.

I concur.

Bullying should be considered a crime, just like theft, mugging, burglary, assault and battery, and rape.

For example:

If I were to punch you in the nose right now, you could file an assault and battery charge against me, and I would go to jail.

But if we were a couple kids on a school yard play ground, I could beat the crap out of you and get away with it, even if you suffered permanent injuries as a result.

This eventually leads to kids killing other kids in our schools.

And, this is why we must stop the bullying before it escalates to that point.

Perhaps, we should jail the parents who allow their kids to be bullies!

Those adults in this country who condone the bullying of students in schools, I wonder if they would still condone bullying if their own kids ended up in a box six feet under, or wound up in jail for killing another kid.

Perhaps then, they would sing a different song!

[ChrisOH]

Your point is well-taken, recovering_fan. (I would even say that bullied kids need to be taught ways to deal with their situation. Bullied kids should be empowered somehow.) But those of us who are members of this forum have every right to criticize those who have bullied others or are, in fact, bullying others today. You should be aware there are even many adults in this country who condone the bullying of students in schools. School bullies are often excused and defended. People say that bullying is a part of life and therefore bullying should be tolerated instead of receiving the social scorn that it so richly deserves. Using the flawed argument that bullying is part of life is like saying that adultery is part of life, mugging is part of life, rape is part of life, child abuse is part of life. Actually, school bullying is child abuse.

Hello Earl!

Often overlooked is bullying among adults --for example, workplace bullying. This type of bullying usually isn't physical, but may include shunning, demeaning comments, lack of consideration for advancement (especially if it's a boss who's doing the bullying), or sabotaging of another's ideas or work. At the company I worked for (where all "the guys" seemed to talk about sports all the time) there was even a notice put out that sports discussion could be considered bullying if it involved demeaning someone for liking the "wrong" team or athlete, or for not liking sports at all.

I wouldn't think it too much of a stretch to think many of the workplace bullies were also the bullies in school -- after all, that's how they learned to behave, whether through direct encouragement or tacit approval, during their formative years.

[i_like_1981]

Often overlooked is bullying among adults --for example, workplace bullying. This type of bullying usually isn't physical, but may include shunning, demeaning comments, lack of consideration for advancement (especially if it's a boss who's doing the bullying), or sabotaging of another's ideas or work.

Very true. Quite a lot of the time I have felt the odd one out in my workplace, because a lot of them are sports fans who were all rooting for England in the World Cup last year. I definitely wouldn't say I got "bullied" at my office, so to speak, but on several occasions I have felt pushed to the side and detached because I let people know that I couldn't care less about sports. They've come to accept the fact that I don't like sports, but whether they've fully accepted me as one of them is a different issue. I guess things could be worse, though. Saying that, it's hardly a good statement on our society when people are made to feel left out just because they're not interested in watching men kicking a ball around.

Best regards,
i_like_1981