HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2012

[Fat Man]

NAPPY YEW HEAR!

No, wait a minute! That's not right! I meant to say . . . . .

YAPPY HEW NEAR!

No! That's still wrong! I'll try to get it right this time.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yeah! That's it! This time I think I got it right.

So, once again . . . . .

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OK, just kidding around! I'm not really drunk.

Tonight I only had one Bloody Mary and a couple of beers, my favorite Amberbock Dark Lager.

A Bloody Mary is basically tomato juice with Vodka.

In a tall glass you put in some Worcestershire Sauce, soy sauce, and some hot sauce. Add two shots of Vodka, and pour in some V8 Tomato Juice and stir it with a stick of celery.

I also like to have food, some snacks, like pickled herring on fancy crackers and chips and dip.

I made up a great big bowl of sour cream dip. In the dip, I added 2 small cans of shrimp, 2 small cans of minced clams, 2 small cans of crab meat, and I chopped up some green olives, the kind with the little red pimentos in them and plenty of imitation crab meat made from Alaskan pollock, so it's still real fish, only some ingredients are added to make it look and taste like crab meat.

So, I made up a great big bowl of this dip and I have two big bags of Ruffles potato chips, one plane, and one with sour cream and onion flavor, and a great big bag on Nachos Doritos.

This is what I do every year to celebrate the new year.

Yeah, I had to bitch and gripe with the management at Albertsons a couple of years ago to stock up on those little jars of pickled herring.

El Paso is a redneck town, and most of the local yokels here think that only "fags" like to have all kinds of fancy snacks and hors d'oeuvres (pronounced orderbs) or any food to go with the booze!!!

Like, that is so gay!!!

No, they prefer to get drunk swilling down that cheap Buckhorn Beer and straight Jim Beam whiskey on an empty stomach, which they think is more manly, then they get drunk on their asses, and at 12:00 AM Midnight they go staggering out of their homes with their pants sliding half-way down on their butts, and fire their shotguns 12 times into the air, then they puke on the grass, passing out face down in their own puke, and if they don't drown in their vomit, they'll get killed when the bullets come falling down from the sky, while they're laying there, passed out face down in the grass.

Yeah, as usual, around midnight I could hear shotguns out in the distance. Smart people won't step out of their homes around 12:00 AM at midnight.

Actually, it's against the law, against city ordinance to fire a gun into the air within the city limits.

Oh! But you can't tell these dumb yokels anything.

But, as long as those of us who are reasonably smart know enough to stay indoors when the distant shotguns go off, we'll live to see another New Year.

And in addition to celebrating the New Year, we can celebrate when all the morons out there are up for the Annual Darwin Award.

Anyway . . .

Once again . . . .

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2012

[Agent 47]

I also like to have food, some snacks, like pickled herring on fancy crackers and chips and dip.

I made up a great big bowl of sour cream dip. In the dip, I added 2 small cans of shrimp, 2 small cans of minced clams, 2 small cans of crab meat, and I chopped up some green olives, the kind with the little red pimentos in them and plenty of imitation crab meat made from Alaskan pollock, so it's still real fish, only some ingredients are added to make it look and taste like crab meat.

So, I made up a great big bowl of this dip and I have two big bags of Ruffles potato chips, one plane, and one with sour cream and onion flavor, and a great big bag on Nachos Doritos.

That sounds like a finely tuned recipe, honed to perfection, Fat Man. But I can't say that it's ever occurred to me to mix fish and olives into a dip though!

But then again, I've got a thing for bacon flavoured biscuits with gherkin flavoured dip.

Oh well, to each his own.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!