JESUS HATES ME! And I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor!

For non-sports-related posts. Because we really can't stand talking about sports!
Post Reply
User avatar
Fat Man
The Fat Man Judgeth
Posts: 3301
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:08 am
Gender: Male
Location: El Paso, Texas, USA, 3rd Planet, Sol System, Milky Way, Local Cluster, Somewhere in The Cosmos!
Contact:

JESUS HATES ME! And I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor!

Post by Fat Man »

Jesus Hates Me

Jesus hates me this I know
For the BUY-BULL tells me so
The ignorant to him belong
I'm too smart, so I am wrong

Yes, Jesus hates me
Yes, Jesus hates me
Yes, Jesus hates me
The BUY-BULL tells me so


Someday, I'm going to die on my kitchen floor!

Only the ignorant and the uneducated here in El Paso Texas will be allowed to ride the city buses and go out to do their shopping so that when they come home from church on Sunday afternoons, they can eat and drink, and tell their wives and kids to shut the fuck up during the football game, swill down that crummy Buckhorn brew while blowing beer farts into the couch, and when their favorite team loses the game, they beat the crap put of their wives and kids, rape their daughters, kick the cat, screw the pooch, and give the parakeet and gold fish cause for alarm.

And in the meantime, I'm going to die on my kitchen floor!

Thank you Jesus!
Last edited by Fat Man on Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ImageI'm fat and sassy! I love to sing & dance & stomp my feet & really rock your world!

All I want to hear from an ex-jock is "Will that be paper or plastic?" After that he can shut the fuck up!
Heah comes da judge! Heah comes da judge! Order in da court 'cuz heah comes da judge!
Image

Image
User avatar
Safety
Sportsman
Posts: 203
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:04 pm
Gender: M
Location: Ohio, US

Re: JESUS HATES ME!

Post by Safety »

Bad day?
"I hold that the parentheses are by far the most important parts of a non-business letter." - D. H. Lawrence
User avatar
Fat Man
The Fat Man Judgeth
Posts: 3301
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:08 am
Gender: Male
Location: El Paso, Texas, USA, 3rd Planet, Sol System, Milky Way, Local Cluster, Somewhere in The Cosmos!
Contact:

Re: JESUS HATES ME! I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor!

Post by Fat Man »

Well, my JAZZY 614 HD power chair needs new batteries.

Image

This is what I use to get around because I have arthritis in my knees and ankles.

OK, my doctor wrote out the prescription for the new batteries.

But he made a mistake.

He wrote it out of power chair accessories, when it should have said power chair repairs, NOT accessories.

So, the prescription can't be filled.

Three times I tried to call the doctor's office.

I tried to explain the mistake that was made that needs to be corrected.

The receptionist couldn't understand what I was talking about.

I tried to explain so she would understand to tell her about the correction that is needed before Medicare/Medicaid could cover the prescription.

But, she wouldn't listen to me, and I couldn't get a word in.

I have made three different attempts to call in and I can't speak for myself.

So, yesterday afternoon around 5:00 PM I went to an attorneys office that was only 2 blocks from where I lived. I had to find the closest place possible because of my batteries.

I tried to explain the situation to them, and to see if they could call my doctor, because I need someone to speak for me.

They could not do it.

So, I tried to ask some advice as to who could do it. They said that they can't give out any information.

Then, one of the guys came out and told me to leave or he would call the police.

Well, I got pissed.

I said, I'm not a criminal, I'm just a handicapped person seeking help or advice.

He went for his cell phone.

Then I got really pissed!!! I said "OK, I get it now! A football player gets $5 million dollars a year, and a FREE hummer after he's raped someone, and but I can't get a lousy set of batteries for my power chair, and I'm treated like a criminal for being handicapped!!!

Well, I left, but only after some choice words.

I gave him the middle finger salute, and told him to fuck off, and eat shit and die!

Then I went home.

I have no one who can speak for me! I need a mouth piece, someone to speak for me, because they won't listen.

But, I can't get any information.

That's because Texas is a religious state, and it's forbidden to ask questions and to seek knowledge, which is also forbidden.

So, I'm in deep shit.

I'm not going to get new batteries for my JAZZY, and I won't be able to go out shopping grocery anymore, and eventually, the food will run out, and I will die on my kitchen floor!

Or, I could put myself in a nursing home where I'm told when to get up in the mornings, when to go to bed, and I can't have my own telephone or and Internet access in my own room, and I can't have my own TV, so when I want to watch TV it will be down in the day room and I'll have no choice because it will either mostly Spanish programming or sports.

Yeah! They will feed me and keep my body alive while my mind slowly withers away and dies after just a couple of years.

NO THANK YOU!

I'll take my life first before that happens.

I'd rather be in my own apartment, reading my books, and using the Internet, and have my own personal freedom as my food runs out, before I die on my kitchen floor!

So, I guess I'll be on these forums for maybe another six weeks or so, and when you all don't see me anymore, because I will have died on my kitchen floor!

PRAISE JEEEEEEEZZZAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!

Of course, my problem could be easily solved, if I can just get a message to my doctor to correct the mistake on the prescription, that it should be for repairs and NOT accessories.

But, the receptions won't listen to me, and they won't let me speak.

And I have no one who can speak for me.

If I make another attempt to find someone to speak for me, I'll only run the risk of going to jail.

Because, here in Texas, we don't have free speech, and even thinking is illegal.

I only need another person to call my doctor for me.

That's all I need, because I can't speak for myself, because the receptionist won't listen.

Then I'll have to see if I can sue my doctor for malpractice because he made an error when writing out my prescription.

Oh wait! I keep forgetting!

I need a lawyer to do that! And lawyers here in El Paso, or anywhere in Texas don't take cases for handicapped people. No, instead, they call the cops on handicapped people. Lawyers only help to get football players off when accused of rape so they can go back out on the field and chase a ball and get there FREE Hummers!

That's more important than a human life! And the sooner I die, the more money there will be toward another Hummer to be given away free to some football player.

You see, I need to die because I'm a dangerous criminal.

I'm a Democrat, and I can't play sports because I'm crippled up with arthritis, and I read too many science books, and I don't believe in Creationist fairy tales, and I'm not an American citizen because I'm not a Christian, according to former President Bush and the Republican party.

So, I'm an evil rotten person and I deserve to die because I'm not a professional rapist who plays football. Only those good decent rapists who play football deserve to live.

Maybe I'll go out and "commit suicide by cop" so my death will be more symbolic, and serve a political purpose for the Republicans. Yeah! They'll be happy because I'll give them what they want.

Perhaps I need to get down on my fat dimpled knees, and pray to Jesus to heal my arthritis so I can play football and rape somebody and get a free Hummer.

And I'll have sirloin and T bone stakes in my fridge, and I'll get to live.

But no, I'm an evil rotten person! I'm no good, because I'm crippled up with arthritis, and I don't like sports, and I read too many books, unlike all those good football players who keeps America entertained.

So, I deserve to die!

Praise the Lord!

In the meantime, once again, my song.

Jesus Hates Me

Jesus hates me this I know
For the BUY-BULL tells me so
The ignorant to him belong
I'm too smart, so I am wrong

Yes, Jesus hates me
Yes, Jesus hates me
Yes, Jesus hates me
The BUY-BULL tells me so

Amen


Praise the lord!
ImageI'm fat and sassy! I love to sing & dance & stomp my feet & really rock your world!

All I want to hear from an ex-jock is "Will that be paper or plastic?" After that he can shut the fuck up!
Heah comes da judge! Heah comes da judge! Order in da court 'cuz heah comes da judge!
Image

Image
User avatar
recovering_fan
Member
Posts: 523
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:08 am
Gender: M
Location: in my apartment :-)

Re: JESUS HATES ME! I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor!

Post by recovering_fan »

Fat Man wrote: Of course, my problem could be easily solved, if I can just get a message to my doctor to correct the mistake on the prescription, that it should be for repairs and NOT accessories.
Have a friend call the receptionist at the doctor's office?
Don't you have a social worker?

(I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.)

I think 98% of problems we face are shit that stupid people cook up to fill time with.
User avatar
recovering_fan
Member
Posts: 523
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:08 am
Gender: M
Location: in my apartment :-)

Re: JESUS HATES ME! And I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor

Post by recovering_fan »

Fat Man,

Please be sure to tell us whether this gets resolved, just as I alerted people as soon as I stopped being homeless.

It would be a real tragedy if what you're worried about happening should actually happen.
(A triumph of bureaucratic incompetence! A win for the idiocracy.)

Thanks,
RF
User avatar
Fat Man
The Fat Man Judgeth
Posts: 3301
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:08 am
Gender: Male
Location: El Paso, Texas, USA, 3rd Planet, Sol System, Milky Way, Local Cluster, Somewhere in The Cosmos!
Contact:

Re: JESUS HATES ME! And I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor

Post by Fat Man »

recovering_fan wrote:Fat Man,

Please be sure to tell us whether this gets resolved, just as I alerted people as soon as I stopped being homeless.

It would be a real tragedy if what you're worried about happening should actually happen.
(A triumph of bureaucratic incompetence! A win for the idiocracy.)

Thanks,
RF
Good evening RF, and everyone here.

OK,the situation has finally been resolved.

The next day, I called their evening answering service, and after having to listen to a few recordings, I was finally instructed to hold on so I could speak to someone.

I explained the situation, that the doctor needed to correct the mistake on the prescription he wrote, that it was suppose to say, power chair REPAIRS, and NOT wheelchair accessories!

This was later on Saturday afternoon, and I was told that the doctor would receive the message on Monday when he came in.

So, I waited over the weekend and when I got up Monday morning, I called the clinic at 9:30 AM, and I told the receptionist she needed to listen to me because I had a question to ask. After that, she informed me that the doctor did get the message, and he would make the necessary change in the prescription, for batteries.

I was also told they would call me back to let me know.

Well, they never called back, so I waited, and called at 1:00 PM, and found out the doctor hadn't gotten around to it yet. And then she said she was busy with another patient.

Then I said "I need to give the FAX number. Could you please just give me 10 seconds? Give me 10 seconds! Give me just 10 seconds!" and she finally gave in so I could give them the FAX number for Wheelchair & Walker.

Yeah, I had to argue some more in order to give them the FAX number.

Then I called back again at 4:00 PM before the clinic closes, to ask if the FAX had been sent yet, and she said, yes, the doctor sent the FAX to them, and I thanked her.

Then I called Wheelchair & Walker, was told to hold for a moment, then about a minute or so later, I was told that they did get the FAX from my doctor, and sometime before the week is out, they'll send someone over to pick up my JAZZY 614 HD power chair and replace the batteries and check the wiring and the battery charger and whatever else might need fixing.

My JAZZY uses 2 batteries, 12 volts each, and are connected in series for a total output of 24 volts for the 2 motors, one motor for each wheel. My JAZZY also has electric dynamic breaks. Diesel-electric locomotives have electric dynamic breaks, only on my JAZZY, they're much smaller but work on the same basic principle, and when my JAZZY is turned off, the wheels lock, and unlock when turned on.

The JAZZY is one of the best power chairs on the market, here in the USA.

Too bad I can't get The Galileo, because those can even climb stairs! They're made in Italy.

Anyway, my JAZZY is 3 years old, and every 5 years I can get a new power chair.

Well, mechanically speaking, my power chair is still in pretty good shape, so I think if I take proper care of it, that it should last a few years or so longer the just 5 years. I would like to save Medicare/Medicaid some money my taking care of my JAZZY so that it could last longer than 5 years.

Well, in the meantime . . . . .

That problem is solved.

Too bad I had to go nuts first!!!
ImageI'm fat and sassy! I love to sing & dance & stomp my feet & really rock your world!

All I want to hear from an ex-jock is "Will that be paper or plastic?" After that he can shut the fuck up!
Heah comes da judge! Heah comes da judge! Order in da court 'cuz heah comes da judge!
Image

Image
User avatar
recovering_fan
Member
Posts: 523
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:08 am
Gender: M
Location: in my apartment :-)

Re: JESUS HATES ME! And I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor

Post by recovering_fan »

Fat Man wrote: That problem is solved.

Too bad I had to go nuts first!!!
Yep.

But when the people around you are so full of crap, I can't really fault you!

Good to know things worked out.
User avatar
Fat Man
The Fat Man Judgeth
Posts: 3301
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:08 am
Gender: Male
Location: El Paso, Texas, USA, 3rd Planet, Sol System, Milky Way, Local Cluster, Somewhere in The Cosmos!
Contact:

Re: JESUS HATES ME! And I'm Going To Die On My Kitchen Floor

Post by Fat Man »

recovering_fan wrote:
Fat Man wrote: That problem is solved.

Too bad I had to go nuts first!!!
Yep.

But when the people around you are so full of crap, I can't really fault you!

Good to know things worked out.
Thank you very much!

Yeah! I would rather be crazy and go nuts, than to be stupid!

It's better to be crazy, than retarded.

Anyway . . .

More good news.

Last Tuesday afternoon, I got a call from Wheelchair & Walker, and was told that someone would come to my apartment Wednesday morning to pick up my JAZZY, and return it in the afternoon.

Then, they came yesterday morning about 10:30 AM and returned that afternoon at 5:00 PM with my JAZZY.

So, I now have new batteries in my JAZZY, and they even put on new tires! It has 6 wheels. Two big wheels in the middle directly under the chair where I sit, two little swivel wheels in front, and two little swivel wheels in the back.

Image

Because of the way the wheels are arranged, my JAZZY can turn on a dime and give you nine cents change!

I was even told that Medicare/Medicaid will even cover having the seat re-upholstered because that also falls under repairs and not accessories, because the seat is functional, you have to sit on the seat in order to use it.

Anyway . . . . . .

I'm so happy now that I got new batteries and new tires for my Fatmobile!

Yeah! I love my Fatmobile!
ImageI'm fat and sassy! I love to sing & dance & stomp my feet & really rock your world!

All I want to hear from an ex-jock is "Will that be paper or plastic?" After that he can shut the fuck up!
Heah comes da judge! Heah comes da judge! Order in da court 'cuz heah comes da judge!
Image

Image
Post Reply