Post a Joke Thread

[Fat Man]

You might be a Republican if:

You think the earth is flat and the moon is made of green cheese!

[Fitman's Brother]

You might be a Democrap if you consider yourself so "open minded" that your brain falls out.

It's funny how people from the Demoshit party like Fat Man SAY they are open minded and accepting but really are the most ignorant of all. Just reading his posts show that he's the most ignorant and accepting person I've ever come into contact with.

Hypocrite sheep Democraps: The lowest life forms on planet Earth.

[Brigan]

You might be a Democrap if you consider yourself so "open minded" that your brain falls out.

that made me chuckle. good one =)

[Fat Man]

You might be a Republican, or Retardican if:

You believe in wearing magic underwear!



Yeah! And this fuck-tard wants to be President?





Yeah! Mitt Romney believes, that after he dies, he'll get to have own planet to rule, and he'll have a million wives, or some stupid shit like that!

Also, back in the early 1970s when I lived in Las Cruces New Mexico, I worked for a Mormon for a couple of years, and got paid less than minimum wadge!

Oh! And my worthless sister married a Mormon and she wears magic underwear, and my worthless brother became a Catholic, so every Sunday, he stands in line and he gets to eat God! And, they're both Republicans!

And, I'm the one in my family who's nuts because I wanted to study science?

The mind boggles!

[Fitman's Brother]

You might be a Democrap if: you are a thief and take money from hard-working Americans that you didn't earn.

If this happens to be you, and you constantly call the handouts "measly", you should give it back to the taxpayers and quit being a criminal! Taking money that isn't yours is a crime! Everybody getting free handouts for doing nothing deserve to be locked up and starved to death, then fed to dogs!

[Earl]

But if they're starved to death, there won't be any flesh for the dogs.

[Fat Man]

But if they're starved to death, there won't be any flesh for the dogs.

I'm sorry Earl, but this is not funny.

All this bullshit is making me sick!

Anyway . . . . .

You might be a Retardican if you're against science education in our schools and want students to learn Creationist fairy tales instead.



You might be a Retardican if you try to steal a 12 gauge shotgun from a neighbor in an attempt to kill your own brother because you don't want him to build an astronomical telescope!

You might be a Retardican if you like to destroy oil paintings and rip pages out of science books.

You might be a Retardican if you burn books.

You might be a Retardican if you think people should work for less than minimum wadge.

You might be a Retardican if you think minimum wadge should be abolished and you believe that black families were better off under slavery!

If you're a Retardican, then you are a disgusting piece of garbage, a sociopath, and a traitor to all humanity!

[Fitman's Brother]

You might be a Democrap if you're a lazy fat piece of shit who doesn't work.
(You might be a Republican if you work and give your money to the lazy Democraps-who also happen to be ungrateful for what you give them)

You might be a Demoshit if you call it "minimum wadge" instead of "minimum wage" and use other words incorrectly and show how uneducated you really are
(You might be a Republican if you use the correct word, wage, and are properly educated)

You might be a Demodumbass if you think people should take you seriously when you've proven time and time again you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground
(You might be a Republican if you do- and prove it)

[Fat Man]

You might be a Retardican if you think . . .

. . . students out of high school should only be professional football players, or basketball players, or at least, professional athletes, and that physically handicapped students should not be allowed to go to school, because if they can't do sports, then they'll just have to settle for doing menial low paying jobs for the rest of their lives, while we import science nerds and techno-geeks from overseas because we don't need to educate our own children anymore since it's much cheaper to put up basketball hoops and buy jerseys and helmets for football teams instead of keeping high school chemistry, physics, and biology labs stocked with proper equipment, and that it's OK to show cartoons in the "science class" while the teacher is out coaching the football team, and that the science nerds and geeks deserve to have their science and art projects destroyed by the school athletes because they are the sports enforcers and the sports police, and also, students who insist on learning sciences should get their heads bashed against concrete block walls and eventually sent off somewhere to be locked up for a few weeks to get beaten and raped . . . . .

. . . . . if you believe all of that is OK, then, you ARE a Retardican.

And if you're a Retardican, then you have committed TREASON against the USA, and if found guilty of treason, you should get death by firing squad, no blindfold and no last cigarette! Bang! Bang!

Actually, since you're scum, you should be hanged . . .

. . . on a short rope with your toes barely touching the ground!

OK, I have arthritis in both knees and both ankles, and it's worse in my left knee. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because of pains in my left knee. I have had this condition since I was a kid when I was in a car accident. I have always walked with a limp and as I got older I needed a cane.

I can not do the kind of work that requires that I have to be on my feet all day.

Obviously, because I have always walked with a limp, and could not run, then sports was not an option for me, so, I had to hit the books and study.

But unfortunately, instead of being allowed to hit the books, my head hit the wall thanks to a teacher who bashed my head against the wall in an argument over an astronomy book he would not allow me to check out from the school library.

There should be laws passed, legislation, that students with a physical handicap should not be required to take PE and can not be expelled or suspended form school under any circumstance just because they can't do sports.

Therefore, society must pay to cover the cost of ruined lives because of Americas obsession with sports.

In fact, there should be extra taxes imposed on sports equipment and on tickets for sporting events, and all sports programming on Cable TV should be Pay-Per-View! No more free broadcasting of sports on the networks. To watch sports, you must have Cable TV and sports programming should be Pay-Per-View!

That should cover the cost of damage done to human lives because of America's obsession for sports.

Yeah, sports fans!

Pay up, buck up, and SHUT THE FUCK UP! You criminals!

Yes! All sports fans are criminals!

[HugeFanOfBadReligion]

You might be a Demoshit if you call it "minimum wadge" instead of "minimum wage" and use other words incorrectly and show how uneducated you really are
(You might be a Republican if you use the correct word, wage, and are properly educated)

Oh really?

I could also find several Tea Party signs that also display poor spelling if you wish.

[Fitman's Brother]

You might be a Demofatass if you agree with everything that Michale Moore believes: including his love for food.

[Earl]

Have you ever read that great classic A Tale of Two Fatties by Charles "Fatso" Dickens? It concerns this immortal question: Who's fatter? Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh?

Is there more fat in the Demotard Party or the Republitard Party? (Doncha just love the use of this brand new suffix; namely, the -tard suffix? It's really quite clever it is. Never seen anything like it. However, I'm not sure Oxford recognizes this new innovation in the English language. But give them time. I'm sure it will catch on. )

[Fat Man]

You might be a Demofatass if you agree with everything that Michale Moore believes: including his love for food.

Oh! We're not suppose to enjoy food? No, I guess were just suppose to eat shit and watch football.

Hey! What about your beloved douche-bag Rush Limbaugh? He's what I would call a Retardican fat-ass!

Not only is he into food, but he is also into drugs, especially Viagra, and also, into having sex with little boys as he had done when he was vacationing in the Dominican Republic.

Have you ever read that great classic A Tale of Two Fatties by Charles "Fatso" Dickens? It concerns this immortal question: Who's fatter? Michael Moore or Rush Limbaugh?

Is there more fat in the Demotard Party or the Republitard Party? (Doncha just love the use of this brand new suffix; namely, the -tard suffix? It's really quite clever it is. Never seen anything like it. However, I'm not sure Oxford recognizes this new innovation in the English language. But give them time. I'm sure it will catch on. )

It will probably catch on and be added to the Dictionary of American Slang.

OK, now I got to post a joke.

You might be a Retardican if you (think?) books are more dangerous than guns!

[Fitman's Brother]

Q: How do you confuse a Deomocrap?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Demoshit?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

A Democrap died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

Q: What do you call a Democrap with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

[Fat Man]

If you advocate throwing acid at women, then you are a Republican!

This week, Rep. Nan Hayworth's (R-NY) campaign participated in a Facebook discussion with her constituents. The Facebook page where the discussion took place is called "NY19 U.S. House of Representatives Discussion Center," and is a place for constituents to discuss issues and concerns they have about the district.

Rep. Hayworth's spokesman, Jay Townsend, responded to criticism from a constituent by writing, "When is Tommy boy going to weigh in on all the Lilly Ledbetter hypocrites who claim to be fighting the War on Women? Letâ??s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators who wonâ??t abide the mandates they want to impose on the private sector."

Hate speech aimed at women is wrong and Rep. Hayworth needs to make clear that it will not be tolerated by firing Townsend right away. Can you sign the petition?

Yeah, This evening I signed an on line petition against Jay Townsend.

Also, even if somebody advocated throwing acid at Republican women senators, I would still sign a petition against the person who advocated such an action.

Yeah! I like to make fun of Republicans and call them fucking retards, but I would never advocate throwing acid on them!