IQ Test For PE Coaches, Jocks, And Sports Fans

[Fat Man]

Here is a special Sports Edition of an IQ test.













Test Results:

All of the PE coaches, all of the jocks, and all of the sports fans who were given the above test missed all of the questions.

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COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM - FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION *

ime Limit: 1 Week

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social condition -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to

(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?

(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in America's far north called?

(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from?

(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?

(a) yes
(b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?

(a) New York
(b) Florida
(c) Canada
(d) Wisconsin

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?

20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?

(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting


* You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify.

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Test results:

All of the college football applicants who took the above test missed every question.

But they were still able to play football in college after their coach beat the crap out of the University administrators and threatened the lives of their families.

These tests were also given to Presidential candidates for the 2012 election, and every one of them also failed to answer all of the questions.

[Fitman's Brother]

Fatty truly fails the IQ test because he thinks those were real test results from real athletes.

[Fat Man]

Fatty truly fails the IQ test because he thinks those were real test results from real athletes.

NO! YOU FAIL, because I know that this was not a real test with real test results.

This was only meant as a joke!

Also, you fail again, because you don't understand the concept of humor.

No, your idea of humor would be, pushing a homeless person in front of a bus, or pushing an elderly person in a wheelchair down flights of stairs or seeing someone getting beaten and raped.

That's your concept of humor.

But, if this were a real test given to athletes, and Republican candidates, no doubt, they would miss all the questions.

Now, which ones did you miss?

[Earl]

Why do I get the impression you two don't like each other?

[Fitman's Brother]

I've done better in school than you, Fatty. How does it make you feel that most athletes have achieved higher scholastic achievements than you had?

YOU are the dumb shit. No excuses that you were "kept down". Plenty of nerds have made it through school and did just fine. You have no excuse except for your laziness.

[Fat Man]

I've done better in school than you, Fatty. How does it make you feel that most athletes have achieved higher scholastic achievements than you had?

YOU are the dumb shit. No excuses that you were "kept down". Plenty of nerds have made it through school and did just fine. You have no excuse except for your laziness.

First of all, in order to make it through school, you actually have to be allowed to attend classes in school.

How does one make it through school, when one has been suspended from school?

DUH!

[Fitman's Brother]

Don't we all LOVE excuses?

[Earl]

These personal threads are merely sad, unless a sharp wit is used in the put-downs (as is clearly not the case here). There's hardly any substance to them. They usually don't have a satisfactory resolution to them, and there's nothing I can do about this one. Oh, well ...