Bad Hymns I Dedicate To My Christard Funny-mentalist Ex-Doc!

[Fat Man]

OK, below are some YouTube links to some really bad hymns!!!

These are some really hilarious parodies of all the standard Christian hymns, that I shall dedicate to my ex-doctor, who happens to be one of those right-wing Christard Funny-mentalists!!!

OK, I know, that NOT all Christians a like this fuck-tard who sets a really piss poor example for the more moderate or less conservative among Christians.

Anyway . . . . .

I am currently in the process of filing a lawsuit against my ex-doctor for malpractice, and to have his waiting room receptionists at his front office FIRED!!!

NO! I'm NOT going to sue for money! Nor do I expect any monetary compensation. I doubt if any monetary compensation would be forth coming anyway.

All I want from him, is an acknowledge of wrong doing on his part, and to have his receptionists fired for not doing their jobs the way they should have.

OK, here's the situation.

Twice, he has made errors in filling out a couple of prescriptions.

Last month, I needed new batteries for my JAZZY HD 614 power chair.

When he wrote out the prescription, it was for wheelchair accessories.

Wheelchair & Walker could not fill the prescriptions, because it should have said power chair repairs, NOT accessories, but, repairs.

I made three attempts to call my doctor's office at his clinic, but the receptionist said that she didn't know what I was talking about. They would not let me speak and explain the error the doctor made. That was on a Friday, last month.

So, later on that day, I left a message with the doctor's answering service. I got a chance to talk to someone there, and to have them relay the message to the doctor to inform him of his error, that is should have been for power chair repairs, and not accessories.

Then, the following Monday, I called the receptionist again, to find out if the doctor got the information from his answering service. She said yes, he made the chance, and that I had to come to the clinic to pick up the prescription.

I told her, that I can't get there, because my batteries won't hold a charge! DUH!!!

Like, I was suppose to get there on dying batteries to pick up the prescription, and then, take said prescription over to Wheelchair & Walker!

YEAH RIGHT!!!

So, he needed to FAX the prescription over to Wheelchair & Walker. The receptionist kept interrupting me, and I got impatient and said over and over again, you need to let me speak. I want to give you a FAX number.

I had to shout FAX NUMBER over again and again before they finally gave in, and allowed me to give them the FAX number so that the doctor could FAX the corrected version of the prescription to Wheelchair & Walker.

Well, the doctor finally send the FAX to Wheelchair & Walker, and a couple of days later, they came and picked up my JAZZY, and the next day, it was returned to me with new batteries and even, new tires.

So, that was finally taken care of.

Anyway, that was last month.

OK, I live in a 9 story high rise apartment, and the apartment manager thinks I should transfer to one of the ground level cottages, which are actually really nice.

But to get that done, I needed a written statement from the doctor, which would cost me $25 dollars.

So, I decided not to try to call on the phone, but to get there in person. I paid the 25 dollars, and was told to come back the next day. When I came back, I got the typewritten statement, and then, when I returned to my apartment, I handed the manager the written statement from the doctor.

But, it wasn't good enough. It simply said, I was unable to climb stairs.

Stairs are not the problem, because the building has elevators. It needed to be more specific, saying something, like, I needed to be in an apartment with handicap accessible kitchen, bathroom, and handicap accessible shower.

So, I tried calling the receptionists again, but as usual, they would not let me speak.

The next day, I decided to go in person, because, telephones don't work anymore! I can't get anything done by phone.

Yeah! Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, is probably whirling dervishly in his grave!

When I arrived, I tried to explain that the doctor made a mistake, and I wanted to ask if it would cost me another $25 dollars. They kept interrupting me, and would not let me speak, and told me I had to go.

To which I replied . . . NO! I don't have to go, I have to speak!!!

I want to know if it's going to cost me to have the correction made.

Well, she finally went to the back of the clinic to talk to the doctor, and he came out and told me it would this time cost me $35 dollars to have the correction made.

I told him, I felt that was unfair, that he made the mistake, and I shouldn't have to pay for another person's mistake.

Again, I was told I have to go.

And again, I replied . . . NO! I don't have to go! I have to speak!

I needed to explain the correction that he had to make.

Finally, he said, that if I didn't have to go, he would call the cops!

Then I approached him and said . . . I am not a criminal, I have never harmed another person in my life, I'm only a handicapped person seeking advice and wanting to ask a few questions.

And then . . . . .

HE KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH!!!

And then . . . I gave him the middle finger gesture and said . . . . .

FUCK YOU DOC! YOUR JESUS ISN'T COMING AGAIN UNLESS HE'S JACKING OFF!!!

Yeah! You should see his little clinic. Big wooden crosses on the walls, and every room has all kinds of religious icons in Spanish Catholic style.

OK, I didn't mind the fact that my, now ex-doc, is a Christian, but that day, I got to see, yet another example, of the ugly side of religion!!!

Yes, he did call the cops.

I explained the situation to the police officer. He want in, talked to the doc, and then told me that I could not come back again, but I was not arrested, and was allowed to go home. He also informed me that the doctor would be mailing my medical records to me so I can look for a new doctor. That was last week, and I have yet to receive, said medical records in my mail.

Anyway . . . . .

The police officer was actually quit nice, we had a nice little conversation.

As for not being allowed to return again, I said to the cop . . . . . Well, I've been kicked out of better places than his creepy little shit dump of a clinic! Don't worry officer, I shall not return here ever again.

He actually kind of laughed and my cynical comment.

Anyway . . . . . I was allowed to go, and so, I stopped at a McDonald's on the way to the bus stop.

What I like about restaurants, is . . . I'm allowed to speak so I can place an order. If restaurants were to operate in the same fashion as that clinic's sleazy little operation, well . . . they wouldn't have any customers anymore. So, at least, in restaurants, I'm allowed to speak.

OK, so now, I have to get a new doctor who takes Medicaid/Medicare patients, and one who works with Amerigroup instead of Molina.

And I want a doctor who's an ATHEIST!!!

In the meantime, I have called Health And Human Services to file a complaint against this doctor. And yesterday, I went to an attorney's office in the down town area. The lady there was nice, but she said she couldn't help me with a lawsuit against a doctor, being that it was a family law office, but she gave me the phone number and street address of an attorney I can talk to.

That's what I needed. To have some information that I could use.

Apparently, my ex-doc, being a Christard Funny-mentalist, does not believe in free speech, or asking questions, or seeking information. No, knowledge is forbidden, just like the magical tree in the magical garden bearing the magical fruit of knowledge that we weren't suppose to partake of!

We're suppose to be ignorant like sheep!

Also, like all right-wing Funny-mentalists, he's a fucking coward to kick a handicapped person in the stomach!

Oh! Jesus forgave him for that, many years in advance, so, he covered for all future sins, even for the rest of his life!



Yeah! That's because, he's got his GET OUT OF HELL FREE card!

Well, somebody like that, had no business being a medical doctor!

He's a QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!



Yeah! Doctor Quack!!!

And so, to my ex-doc, I dedicate these really bad hymns!

Here are some of my favorite Horrible Hymns from YouTube.

These were put up by a young lady with the YouTube user name of AuntieDiluvian

Onward Christian Soldiers (new words...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CG4UMRoc1Y&feature=plcp

Onward Christian Soldiers

Onward Christian soldiers, heathens you must fight.
Give them your diseases, take away their rights!
How much misery have you wrought with your crazy creed;
Two millennia of madness, ignorance and greed!

Refrain:

Onward, Christian soldiers, to your pointless war,
Waves of cruel oppression going on before!

Sent your missionaries out to stake their claim;
Stole the natives' culture, all in Jeebus name!
Put them into slavery, rang the mission bell.
Raped their wives and took their children,
Threatened them with Hell!!!

Refrain:

Onward, Christian soldiers, to your pointless war,
Waves of cruel oppression going on before!

Tried to subvert science with your dumb ideas;
Preyed on people's weakness, played upon their fears.
All your Bible stories, all made up by men.
Once I was blind, but I never, will be fooled again!

Refrain:

Onward, Christian soldiers, to your pointless war,
Waves of cruel oppression going on before!

Waves of cruel oppression going on before!


All things Right and Suitable
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghMj1JsBRcc&feature=plcp

All Things right and suitable

All Things right and suitable,
for little children's minds.
Can be found in Genesis,
ignore the fossil finds.

If one should mention Darwin, we'll fight it if we can,
With talk of missing links and, the hoax of Piltdown man.

All things sick and sorrowful.
All evil, death and pain!
All disease and suffering!
Jehovah is to blame!

He made the little locusts, he made their tiny feet.
He made them ravage crops so, there's nothing left to eat.

All things causing tragedy!
All drought and fire and flood!
Wars and bombs and knives and guns!
He loves a bit of blood!

The rich man in his castle, the poor man in his rags.
He made the Westboro Baptists, to tell us God hates fags!

All Things right and suitable,
for little children's minds!
Can be found in Genesis,
ignore the fossil finds.

What a myth we have in Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z5Is4IZmbc&feature=plcp

What A Myth We Have In Jesus

What a myth we have in Jesus.
Oh, what twisted tales are there!
In that thing they call the Bible,
contradictions everywhere.

Oh, how many lives were squandered?
Oh, the damage that was done!
In the name of Hey Zeus! Christos.
Made-up Yaweh's Made-up son.

What a myth we have in Jesus.
Man who walked upon the sea.
Man who preached about forgiveness.
But supported slavery! - - - - - - - - - - - - (Luke 12:45-48)

He said, "The poor will always be here,
but you won't always have me." - - - - - - (Mathew 26:11)
Way to go you crummy douche bag!
Selfish egotist art thee!

What a myth we have in Jesus.
Told his mates he'd reappear . . .
within their short and brutish lifetimes.
Still no sign of him. Oh dear!

No, I will not bow before thee.
Judgement day will never pass.
Shame to have to disappoint you.
Jesus Christ can kiss my ass!


Religion poisons everything
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrZ-5EYpPc&feature=plcp

Religion Poisons Everything

What keeps third world nations poor?
Nothing like good old religion!
Act as catalyst for war?
Nothing like good old religion!

Life is too short to be,
Bound by mythology!
Set everybody free,
From the prison of religion!

What can poison children's minds?
Nothing like good old religion!
Put its women behind blinds?
Nothing like good old religion!

Life is too short to be,
Bound by mythology!
Set everybody free,
From the prison of religion!

What can fell a tower with planes?
Nothing like good old religion!
What entraps believing brains?
Nothing like good old religion!

Life is too short to be,
Bound by mythology!
Set everybody free,
From the prison of religion!

Your God Is An Asshole God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5wp9qfJxw4&feature=plcp

Your God Is An Asshole God

An invention of man kind,
that is entirely obsolete.
God is and asshole God!

So, they gather in the churches
and they preach it in the street.
Your God is an asshole God!

It's time to face the facts
that your Bible's just some stories
that were written to impose
a rule of greed and fear!

The deity depicted is a monster
and a coward!
God is an asshole God!

Your God is an asshole God
of fear, lies and cruelty!
A blight on the human race!
God is an asshole God!

Your God is an asshole God
of fear, lies and cruelty!
A blight on the human race!
God is an asshole God!

A moronic deity who sacrificed his son!
God is an asshole God!

To make himself feel better
for the things that HE had done!
God is an asshole God!

And yet they want us all to think
that we're gonna burn forever, for failing
to believe in these absurdities!

Let's help them learn the truth
so we can sing this song together.
God is an asshole God!

Your God is an aweful God
of fear, lies and cruelty!
A blight on the human race!
God is an asshole God!

Your God is an asshole God
of fear, lies and cruelty!
A blight on the human race!
God is an asshole God!

Your God is an aweful God
of fear, lies and cruelty!
A blight on the human race!
God is an asshole God!

Your God is an asshole God
of fear, lies and cruelty!
A blight on the human race!
God is an asshole God!

If I Only Had A God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjgD-CnL7OM&feature=plcp

If I Only Had A God

I could while away the day in,
fits of fancy praying,
and never think it's odd.

I'd condemn Richard Dawkins
and his athiestic squawkings
if I only had a God.

I would be like all the fundies.
My head inside my undies!
My brain, a giant wad!

Though my thoughts no cigar win,
I would have no need for Darwin.
If I only had a God.

J. C. Be good to me!
And clean out from my head,
All the science and the history I've read.
And make your face, appear on bread!

In a public school position,
I'd foster superstition,
ignoring what is mod.

Teach the Bible as true.
No problem with amandment uno.
If I only had a god.

I'd teach African and Asians,
The needy of all nations,
The hungry and unshod.

Even though I'd despise 'em!
I would go evangilize 'em!
If I only had a God.

I would smite the heathen cynics!
And bomb abortions clinics!
As Catholics hurrahed!

It would earn me no penny.
I'm sure I'd please Pope Benny.
If I only had a God.

Oh why, should I be shy,
'bout doing my Lord's work?
Each atrocity would earn another perk.
Because my God's a vicious jerk!

I could make the sinners cower,
and fly into a tower,
pursuing my Jihad.

I'd obey Heavin's urgings.
Just to earn myself some virgins!
If I only had a God.

If I had no need for knowledge,
I'd go to Bible College,
and earn a PhD.

By writing a thesis,
Only good for wiping feces!
If I had a deity.

If my children needed training,
I'd dispense explaining.
No need to spare the rod!

I'd prepare them for glory,
With a violent bed-time story!
If I only had a God.

I wish I could believe,
that there's an old man in the sky,
who won't prove that his is there,
but who will judge me when I die!

If I wanted to be vicious,
licentious or malicious,
or wield a cattle prod!

Though by greed I was driven,
I'd declare myself forgiven!
If I only had a God!

Religion will one day reach its end
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idVjnCl4oFM&feature=plcp

Religion will one day reach its end

How many myths must a christian believe before the reality dawns?
How many mullahs must cry God is great before the shackles are torn?
How many children will be fed on lies from the instant they're born?
Can't answer my friend, but on this I depend,
religion will one day reach its end.

How many young men will die in the name of something that doesn't exist?
How many women will be terrorized by the thumping of dogmatic fists?
When will religions be made to pay tax and will their presence be missed?
Can't answer my friend, but on this I depend,
religion will one day reach its end.

How many hymns will the organists play before the last one is sung?
How many misguided parents will spoil the childhoods and lives of their young?
How many Bibles, Korans, Talmuds gitas will one day into shredders be flung?
Can't answer my friend, but on this I depend,
Religion will one day reach its end.

End of the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqYFJqnH6kU&feature=plcp

End of the World

Why haven't Christians been raptured?
Why hasn't Jesus returned?
Don't they know, that he's way overdue?
Has Armageddon been adjourned?
Since human beings got religion,
They've been awaiting Doomsday.
Thousands of times it has come, and it's gone.
There's always been a slight delay.

They wake up in the morning and they wonder,
Why the Apocalypse didn't start.
They heard their god's voice, in their scripture of choice,
And though it's all been blown apart!
First come their feeble excuses!
Then they'll create some more strife!
Why do they wait for the end of the world?
Because they do not have a life.

They wake up in the morning and they wonder,
Why the Apocalypse didn't start.
They heard their god's voice, in their scripture of choice,
And though it's all been blown apart!
First come their feeble excuses!
Then they'll create some more strife!
Why do they wait for the end of the world?
Because they do not have a life.

Why do they wait for the end of the world?
Because they do not have a life.

I'm a fundy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsiLhc7yng4&feature=plcp

I'm a fundy

I tried to pass you on the street.
But you wouldn't let me through.
Didn't know I was bound for Hell,
Until I met you!

In the main, I was sane.
But my IQ went down the drain,
When you made me feel,
Yeah, you made me feel,
Dirty and doomed!!!

Chorus:

I'm a fundy! Oooooh!
Saved for the very first time!
I'm a fundy!
Put your bible,
Next to mine!

Gonna give you all my income!
My brain is shrinking fast!
Now I know that the Bible is true!
My need for thinking has passed!

All my worldly goods I'll sell,
All my scientific books as well.
Cos you screamed at me!
Yeah, you screamed at me!
They would send me to Hell!!!

Chorus:

I'm a fundy! Oooooh!
Saved for the very first time!
I'm a fundy!
Put your bible,
Next to mine!

Yeah! Yeah!

Oooh, oooh, oooh!

Yeah!

Oooooh!

Yesssss!!!

You're so cool, you're a tool,
Of the Lord and I am your fool!!!
'Cause you shower me,
Yeah, you shower me,
With your biblical drool

Chorus:

I'm a fundy! Oooooh!
Saved for the very first time!
I'm a fundy!
Put your bible,
Next to mine!

I'm a fundy.
Oooh, oooh, oooh!
I'm a fundy!
Feels so good inside!

When ya tell me,
when ya tell me,
I'm a sinner!

Oooh, oooh, oooh!

I'm a fundy!
Oooooo! Ooooooo!
I'm a fundy!

I'm a fundy!

Illogical
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VFd7iAzUbI&feature=plcp

Illogical

I was brought up to be a good little christian child,
Meek and Mild, I was God beguiled, fears ran wild,
And I would look down my nose at all the sinning kids at my school,
Secretly wishing I could be less uncool.

But somewhere along the way I got in touch with reality.
Oh it came to me, happily, eventually,
And I discovered a world that was just so much more logical.
Oh beautiful, it was marvelous, wonderful.

Can believers really be so dense?
Their faith's devoid of sense!
How can we free their minds?
How I yearn to tell them what I've learned!
Their scriptures are absurd!
Why can't they understand?

I said now if you speak out they'll be calling you a heretic,
apostate, oh bound for hell, satanic.
They will say you're a sinner while they'd secretly like to be
dogma-free, just like you and me, verily!
But their fear's got them got them got them yeah!

Can believers really be so dense?
Their faith's devoid of sense!
How can we free their minds?
How I yearn to tell them what I've learned!
The scriptures are absurd!
Why can't they understand?

Religion is superstition
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IktOQGqb ... ure=relmfu

Religion is superstition

Very superstitious!
Jesus in the bread!
Very superstitious!
Hands upon the head!
Thirteen true disciples,
Number of the beast,
Demons,angels,zombies,
Passover Feast!

It relies on fear,
Not on evidence!
Cos Religion's,
Superstition all the way!

Very superstitious!
Pray five times a day!
Slit their throats and drain them,
Cruelty's Yaweh!
Make your pleas to Jesus!
Cry to outer space!
Wear your robes and strange hats,
Cover up your face!

It relies on fear,
Not on evidence!
Cos Religion's,
Superstition all the way!

Very superstitious!
Things you mustn't say!
Very superstitious!
The devil's on his way!
Denying the Holy Spirit,
Unforgiveable Blasphemy!
Your pointless rules and rituals,
Get no respect from me!

It relies on fear,
Not on evidence!
Cos Religion's,
Superstition all the way!!!

The place called the Vatican
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2d3cJglt5Q&feature=plcp

The place called the Vatican

There is a place in Italy,
They call the Vatican!
And it's been the ruin of many a young life,
In mo-ore ways than one!

My parents were raised Catholics,
And took the Pope's advice,
Not to use 'Condoms in case of AIDs'
Now they've both paid his price!

My mother needed child care,
Up stepped Father McGee!
She worked hard to pay the bills,
While he took care of me! **

Oh parents give your children,
A childhood full of fun!
Teach them to think critically,
And they'll shun the Vatican!

They won't listen to stupid men,
Whose ken of science is none!
And they won't be put at risk of harm,
By the men of the Vatican

There is a place in Italy,
They call the Vatican!
And it's been the ruin of many a young life,
In mo-ore ways than one!

** Based on real event: happened in the family of someone I knew.
AuntieDiluvian

I have posted comments under some of her videos, and have communicated through private messages. She has a good reason to be angry, which is why she created these YouTube videos.

Anyway . . . . .

It's just too bad, that I can't send these videos to my ex-doctor!

I would really love to rub his nose in it!

Well, I'm going to sue the fuck-tard!

In the meantime . . . . .

I need to look for a new doctor!

And, I hope he's an ATHEIST!!!

[Mrs. Earl]

So, once again all religious people are responsible for the evil actions of one hypocrite.

Tell me, Fat Man, why do you hate Earl?

[Fat Man]

So, once again all religious people are responsible for the evil actions of one hypocrite.

Tell me, Fat Man, why do you hate Earl?

OK, at the top of this forum post I had said . . . . .

OK, I know, that NOT all Christians a like this f**k-tard who sets a really piss poor example for the more moderate or less conservative among Christians.

I'm just angry right now and I need some time to cool down.

My ex-doctor punched me in the stomach, and I'm going to sue him!

[Mrs. Earl]

Yeah, I know. You have no problem with "progressive Christians." Earl is not a "progressive Christian." He doesn't thump his Bible but he spends a great deal of time reading it. He believes in the literal inspiration of the Bible, the Genesis account of creation, and the Flood. He loves God and his family and he has shown a great deal of compassion for you. Yet you continually spit in his face. Your ex-doctor will never come to this website and read what you have written but Earl has to read your garbage that mocks everything he believes in. So I'll ask you again: Why do you hate Earl?

[Fitman's Brother]

Mrs. Earl:

Fat Man is just an idiot. I mean look at how he conducts himself. You and Earl should take everything he says with a grain of salt, because whatever thoughts and ideas come from him are complete shit.

[Mrs. Earl]

Thank you, Fitman's Brother. I know Fat Man frequently spews bilge, but I do get tired of him vilifying a group of men to which not only Earl but many of his closest friends belong.

[Fat Man]

Yeah, I know. You have no problem with "progressive Christians." Earl is not a "progressive Christian." He doesn't thump his Bible but he spends a great deal of time reading it. He believes in the literal inspiration of the Bible, the Genesis account of creation, and the Flood. He loves God and his family and he has shown a great deal of compassion for you. Yet you continually spit in his face. Your ex-doctor will never come to this website and read what you have written but Earl has to read your garbage that mocks everything he believes in. So I'll ask you again: Why do you hate Earl?

Why do you say I hate Earl?

Yes, we've had our disagreements in the past, and will probably have some more disagreements in the future.

I don't have a problem with people believing in the Bible as long as they don't force their religious beliefs on others, and I know that Earl doesn't do any of that.

And he even agrees with me that Creationism should not be taught in a science class, and even though he doesn't believe in Evolution, he still agrees with me that it should not be banned.

So, I'm OK with that.

I always thought freedom of religion simply meant, having a right to one's own religious beliefs. But I also think that freedom OF religion also includes freedom FROM religion as well.

Oh! But I remember some years ago, while watching the NEWS on TV, I can't remember if it was Jerry Falwell (now deceased) or Pat Robertson, I get the two confused because they both have interchangeable parts, but one of them made a comment that freedom of religion DOES NOT include freedom from religion.

This is why I get so angry with religion!

And now, more recently, a new Religious Freedom Amendment has been passed.

For example:

An employer may deny employee health care coverage for such items as contraceptives, or whatever goes against the religious beliefs of the employer.

So, this allows an employer to force his religious beliefs on his/her employees!

Now, religious freedom has come to mean, having a right to force one's religious beliefs on others.

Then, there's the new Faith Based Initiative which allows employers or organizations to discriminate in hiring in some circumstances.

And finally, a so-called Anti-bullying bill in the state of Michigan, would make some exceptions, which will give Christians in our public schools a right to approach gay students and to preach to them, and warn them they're going to Hell, and they'll probably even start harnessing the science nerds and geeks who believe in evolution. So, the Michigan bill allows verbal harassment in some cases.

Again, this is why I get so angry with religion.

Now, on to other matters . . . . .

Mrs. Earl:

Fat Man is just an idiot. I mean look at how he conducts himself. You and Earl should take everything he says with a grain of salt, because whatever thoughts and ideas come from him are complete shit.

Oh yeah!

All my thoughts and ideas are complete shit! Eh?

Like, the right to get a decent education.

A right not to be bullied and harassed by jocks.

Yeah! That's shit!

Now I get it!

Yeah! Uh huh! Kicking a football or putting a spherical ball through a metal hoop is more important than academics!

YEAH RIGHT!!!

[Fitman's Brother]

Calm down, Fat Man.

[Fat Man]

Calm down, Fat Man.

WHAT???

Is that all you have to say?

Aren't you going to say something like, I deserve to be starved and torn apart by a pack of wild dogs, or that, I'm a disgrace to humanity, or something like that?

Can't you come up with something better than that?

Gee! Now I'm disappointed!

What ever happened to the old Fitman's Brother that we all know and love so much?

Sometimes you really disappoint me!

Well, I suppose I do need to calm down, because I've been really up tight lately.

Oh! Look at me! Heeding the advice of Fitman's Brother, my arch enemy!!!

Un-fuckin'-believable!!!

Now I know I'm going nuts!

[recovering_fan]

Is that all you have to say?

He's working from a script*, Fat Man. His script says that you are supposed to get angry at a certain point, whereupon he is supposed to taunt you, mockingly telling you to "calm down." You didn't seem particularly angry to me, especially by your standards, but he lacks the responsiveness to deviate from what his script tells him he should say.

The irony is that Fit Man's Brother probably holds Christianity in greater contempt than you do yourself, although for different reasons.

*--Same script that all the frat boys at "alpha sigma sigma" use...

[Mrs. Earl]

Sorry it took me so long to respond, Fat Man, but the website has depressed Earl and he hasnâ??t wanted to deal with it and our younger daughter has been busy.

Okay, I admit that using the word â??hateâ? is a hyperbole. The idea that I meant to convey is that you do not show Earl the basic respect that is due to a friend.

You are not being respectful to Earl when you say that everyone who believes what he believes comes home from church on Sunday and beats his wife and rapes his daughter.

You are not being respectful to Earl when you say that everyone who believes what he believes practices bestiality with barnyard animals.

You are not being respectful to Earl when you say that everyone who believes what he believes is so ignorant of science that they believe the world is flat. For the record, Earl read and understood his sisterâ??s high school biology textbook when he was in the first grade. He has always had a great love for science and is one of the smartest men I know.

You are not being respectful to Earl when you say that everyone who believes what he believes is so mentally deficient that they cannot control their bodily functions.

You are not being respectful to Earl when you mock things that are dear to him as you did when you printed the â??hymnsâ? in this thread.

And you certainly were not being respectful to Earl when you claimed that he believed you deserved to go to Hell because you were not good at sports (Iâ??m referring to a comment you made in a thread started by Fitman).

Earl has been a good friend to you but friendship is a two way street. Itâ??s time you started acting like his friend and treated him with respect.

[Fitman's Brother]

That's wishful thinking, Mrs. Earl. Nobody has gotten through to Fat Man before, and talking sense to him now won't be any different.

[Fat Man]

Good evening Mr. Earl:

I have stated, many times in the past, that NOT ALL Christians fall under those above mentioned categories.

I'm only referring to those extremists, who are in fact, forcing their religious beliefs on other people, and politicians who wish to pass legislation in either Congress or The Senate, like the Faith Based Initiative or the so-called Religious Freedom Amendment which would allow employers to deny certain health care benefits to their employees, based on the religious beliefs of said employer.

So,an employer can now force his/her religious beliefs on the employees.

And those who are trying to have Creationism inserted into school science textbooks.

These are the ones I refer to as "Christards".

Thanks to certain members in our Republican party, freedom of religion has come to mean, the right to force one's religious beliefs on other people, when it use to mean, simply the right to practice your own religious beliefs, as you see fit for yourself.

But NO! They want to turn America into a theocracy!

OK, I guess posting all those bad hymn parodies was going over the top.

But, I was mad at the way my doctor treated me, and his receptionists for not allowing me to speak or to ask questions.

How am I to function without sufficient information? Am I suppose to guess? And how do I get anything done if I can ask questions to get the information I need?

Suppose, that when you go into a restaurant, and they don't allow you to speak. How do you place an order, if you can't speak? They would lose their customers.

And another thing . . . . .

I have to use the city bus to get around, and we have talking buses.

OK, that in itself is not the problem, when the voice announces the name of a street as we pass.

But, sometimes the announcement says the same thing over and over again, like, Please no smoking, do not consume food and beverage, wait until the bus has stopped before getting up from your seat, etc. etc.

If it only occurred once in a while, there would be no problem.

But, sometimes, actually, many times, while having a nice conversation with a friend on the bus, the voice announcement keeps saying the same crap over and over and over again about seven times. I finally got mad and said, Shut up Bus!!!

See, we can even have a conversation with a friend while riding the bus!

Yeah! People can't speak anymore! Only buses can speak!

Oh! What loads of fun, when you go into a restaurant, they have those big screen TV's showing a football game, and the volume is up to the max, making it impossible to have a conversation at the table with friends.

This usually occurs at Sports Bars, so I don't go them any of them, but it's now happening in more and more restaurants.

The art of conversation is dead!!!

It's getting to the point, when the only time I can speak, is when I'm at home.

But I live alone. So, what am I suppose to do? Just talk to myself?

Someday, even that won't be allowed!!!

Yeah! Next the Republicans might want to pass legislation that all new born infants will have their vocal cords surgically cut so they won't be able to speak!

OK, I guess I'm being cynical again.

In the meantime, I have filed a complaint against my ex-doctor, and I have to get a new doctor who works through Amerigroup and take Medicare/Medicaid patients.

And I hope, that the receptionists will allow me to speak and ask questions, and I hope my new doctor is an atheist!

I'm sorry, but I have also been feeling really depressed for the past couple of weeks.

OK, when I was a kid, my mother raised us kids as Christians, and we went to church and Sunday school. I actually enjoyed singing hymns in church, and sometimes Sunday school was fun when we did art projects. I actually enjoyed putting together my own construction paper model of Noah's ark. Yeah, it was fun.

Then, our Sunday school teacher taught us about Adam and Eve, and about how God made Eve from one of Adam's ribs, and she said that to this very day men have one less rib on one side of their bodies.

Well, I knew better. When I was 9 years old, I once had a chest X-ray done when I had a flu, and I was coughing all the time and badly congested. I asked the doctor if I could see my X-ray picture, and he said, OK, so I got to see my ribs. Then I said, "Hey Doc! I see the same number of ribs on both sides! No missing rib!" and the doctor kind of laughed, and said that the missing rib is just a myth.

So, when I returned to Sunday school, I told her about seeing my chest X-ray and that boys and girls both have the same numbers and boys don't have a missing rib on one side. She made me sit in the corner and told me to be quiet.

Yeah! Kids are supposed to be seen and not heard! Uh huh! We know! We know!

Also, even when I was just a kid, I could not get myself to believe that the earth, the sun, moon , and stars were all created in just six days.

I enjoyed science, and I would spend a lot of time in the public library during the hot summer days. Astronomy was my favorite subject, but I also read books on geology because I wanted to know what's inside the earth, and I read about dinosaurs, and learned that the earth was billions of years old, that dinosaurs became extinct about 60 million years ago, and that the universe was even older than the earth by many billions of years, and I read about evolution.

OK, after reading all of that, I did NOT stop believing in God. I accepted evolution, and I simply thought that natural selection and evolution was the method he used or allowed to occur to bring about life on the earth.

Then, one day, back in Sunday school again, when we were talking about creation, I rose my hand, and the teacher said, "OK, what do you have to say?" and I asked if it were possible that natural selection and evolution was the method God used to make life on the earth.

Again, I was told to be quiet, sit in the corner, and was warned that if I didn't change my thinking, that I was going to Hell when I die!

When I can't home from Sunday school, after telling my mother what happened, she said that I didn't have to go to Sunday school anymore if I didn't want to.

Even though my mother was Christian, she believed that a lot of stories in the Bible were just that. Nothing but stories, or myths. She said that I didn't have to believe everything in the Bible as long as I knew right from wrong, didn't lie, or steal, and only that there is a God who could have used any method to create the world, even evolution.

My mother encouraged us kids to read, and we had a house full of books, all kinds of books. We were a poor family, but our house was a virtual treasure trove of books.

So, when I was a kid, science didn't turn me away from religion, it was some religious people who turned me away from religion.

Imagine, telling a 9 year old kid that he is going to burn in Hell forever!

Yeah! Real nice! Eh?

Oh! And and another fine example of their so-called "Christian" love!

One day there was a church picnic. The food was great and there were refreshments.

OK, we played games in the hot sun. Every kid was given a paper cup with his/her name written on the bottom. After the games I was thirsty. My paper cup got blown away by the wind, and I was not allowed to have another paper cup. One of the Sunday school teacher there said "Well, I guess you're just going to have to die of thirst!" yeah, uh huh! Real nice! Can't ya just feel the love!!!

I came home from the picnic, hot, tired, and feverish. I was dehydrated and was sick for a couple of days afterward with fevers and chills. I didn't feel like eating, so my mother bought tall bottles of 7Up which was my favorite drink when I wasn't feeling well.

My mother called the church to complain and we never went back to that church ever again and we found another church.

So, not only was I bullied around in school, but also got my share of bullying from some of the Ecclesiass-holes in my church!

As I got older, I stopped going to church entirely. I didn't stop believing a God, I just didn't believe in church anymore.

But now, I have become more agnostic.

OK, on to other matters . . . . .

That's wishful thinking, Mrs. Earl. Nobody has gotten through to Fat Man before, and talking sense to him now won't be any different.

Oh! You mean like you tried to get through to me by trying to convince me that I'm worthless and a disgrace to humanity, because I don't play sports, and I get a disability pension!

Sorry, but you will never get through to me, so . . . . .

FUCK OFF!!!

[Fitman's Brother]

Do you honestly believe all the bullshit you say, or do you say "crazy" and "edgy" things simply as a cry for attention? If it's the latter, it's definitely working for you.

[Fat Man]

Do you honestly believe all the bullshit you say, or do you say "crazy" and "edgy" things simply as a cry for attention? If it's the latter, it's definitely working for you.

Hey mother fucker!

When I talk about past occurrences I'm not making it up or bullshitting!

THESE THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!

Of course you wouldn't understand that, being good at sports, you had all kinds of extra privileges granted to you, so, you're out there living in La La Land!

Hey! Maybe you need to have someone to grab you by the shoulders and bash your fucking head up against the corner of a brick wall hard enough to cause you to have dizzy spells and headaches for a number of years afterward!

Or, perhaps (normally I wouldn't wish this on anyone) you need to be locked up somewhere for a few weeks and get beaten and raped!

OK, I take the second one back!

Sorry 'bout that!

But, it has become politically correct to blame the victim of rape instead of punishing the rapist, thanks to the Republican party!

Yeah! There's now some talk going around of "legitimate rape" by some Republican fuck-tards!

I'm not kidding about this!

Representative Todd Akin, the Republican Senate nominee from Missouri, he is against abortion in ALL circumstances, including rape. He recently made the following comment:

"It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, thatâ??s really rare," Mr. Akin said of pregnancies from rape. "If itâ??s a 'legitimate rape' the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." uh huh! Somebody should shut him down!

He even believes that if a woman does become pregnant from rape, then, she really wasn't raped. And some anti-abortionists are even advocating that if the rape victim it trying to get an abortion, the rapist should have the right to sue the victim to stop her from having his baby aborted. Yeah! The rapist might someday be given the right to have a claim on his child, and the victim required to carry the pregnancy to full term.

And no, I don't talk shit. I search for NEWS articles to post here in these forums.

Then after quoting the article, I add my own opinions and speculation concerning said articles, and yes, if there is something in a political article that pisses me off, I say what it is.

That's merely having an opinion about something.

It's called . . . . . FREE SPEECH!!!

Anyway . . . . .

Next, the Republicans might even want to pass legislation based on Biblical laws that the victim will be required to marry her rapists! OK, this is my own speculation, but what I had said before this, is a fact!

Yeah! Just like you, Mr Shit, they have the blame the victim mentality!

But moronic fuck-tards like you don't care, because you're living in La La Land!

You don't know jack-shit! All you know about is sports!

So, you may just . . . . .

FUCK OFF!!!