On Being A Gay High School Football Player

[Fat Man]

OK, everybody!

Please read the following article with an open mind! Please!

Yes, I know, most of us here do not like football players, myself included as we all know.

But it IS true, that NOT ALL football players are bad people.

I'm not going to give percentages, I'll leave that up to Polite24, while hoping that he would please refrain from doing so.

Anyway . . . . .

Here is a tragic story of a young man who was forced into football by an overbearing father, and fearing that he would lose the love and respect of his father if he had chosen not to play football.

The sad truth is, that there are some football players who actually hate the sport they are participating in, and if they had it all to do over again, they would choose to do something else instead.

So, once again . . .

Please do read this story with an open mind, and try to imagine yourself in his situation.

Here is a web site link to the articla.

http://www.gaysports.com/page.cfm?Secti ... &parent=45

But I have decided to post it here as well.

Being A Gay High School Football Player
By Coach Eric Gumby Anderson MA, MA, Ph.D. (cand.)

Note: this story is told through Coach Gumby, and originally appeared in the Orange County Blade in August of 1999. Also the photo is not a photo of the football player.


Photo Credit: Steve Jerome
Sam Tyson - A Model Who
Plays Football

I will give no name. I will give no school. I will not even write this myself. I am too closeted, too afraid. I am a high school football player. I am big. I am strong. And I am very good at what I do. If you follow the sport, you know me. Iâ??m also living proof that even football players are gay. I am living proof of how homophobic high school football truly is. It is these reasons I gave Coach Gumby permission to write my story, out of hope that just one other football player will somehow read it, and know that you are not alone. I am here too.

Iâ??ve always known I liked guys. And I never liked sports. But I had no choice. I have to like girls, and I have to love football. I was, as so many of my friends were, pushed into football by my father. A father who cared very much that his son grew to be powerful, strong, and straight. I had little choice in the matter. I have to play ball. I have to have women.

High school football is all about heterosexuality, manliness, and toughness; for a gay guy itâ??s a true hell on earth. The homophobia is appalling. My coaches try to motivate their players to hit harder, crunch more, or throw farther all by calling us fags. If they cop out early, they are surely criticized as being gay. My teammates use "fag" as a daily and repetitive insult. They call all the guys fags. But if they suspect one of them really is â?? it would surely mean physical brutality. I must therefore prove I am straight. I have to.

I have to date girls. Perhaps you donâ??t understand â?? I have to date. I need to date and worse yet, I need to exploit the details of my dates. I have to have sex with a girl. Itâ??s the highest point scorer in proving youâ??re not gay â?? even if you are. I used her, I told her I loved her, just to protect myself â?? to pass. I will have to do it again soon too.

Iâ??m in love with my best friend. Iâ??ve always loved my best friends. But I canâ??t tell him. Iâ??m attracted to my teammates. I avoid befriending the good-looking ones so that I wonâ??t slip up and show my true feelings. If I did, Iâ??d lose everything. My respect, my friends, and my parents' love.

I have to make fun of the other athletes, the runners, swimmers and wrestlers. I have to call them fags, or fear being called one myself. I have even resorted to verbal gay bashing. You donâ??t understand â?? I have to. Iâ??m a hypocrite, and I know it. I have to be.

I know of three gay people on the Internet. Iâ??m too afraid to meet more than that. Iâ??m too afraid to meet them in person. Iâ??m too afraid to give my real name or school. I never tell them Iâ??m a football player. I hide everything. I have to.

I have to play college ball. I have to hide my sexuality there too. If I donâ??t, I will surely lose my parentâ??s love, my parentâ??s respect, and my parentâ??s funding.

I lie on my bed and cry at night. I pray for an answer but there is none. Iâ??m gay. Iâ??m a football player. I have parents who are proud of me. I have friends. I have respect. I seem to have it all. But in reality, I have nothing. And I have no peace.

And you know what? In reality, I know I donâ??t really have to hide. Part of me revels in seeing the look on my dadâ??s face when I tell him that all along, his star son, the famed football player, is also gay. I look forward to meeting guys, having sex, and just being who nature intended me to be.

I seem to be able to take the hardest of hits, or the longest hell week. No doubt Iâ??m tough. Real tough. But inside, Iâ??m mush. Iâ??m scared and afraid. I have to be. Iâ??m gay and Iâ??m a football player.

Anyway . . .

I had received an E-mail from Earl linking me to the article.

When I read the article, I felt sympathy for this troubled young man. I literally broke down and cried while reading it.

Yes, I am a very passionate and emotional person. But than of course, you all know that.

Yeah! Tonight, I actually felt sympathy toward a football player.

I actually cried for a football player.

I know what it's like, to be called a "fag" in school because I didn't like sports. But, in my case I stubbornly chose not to be in sports, and had other plans for my life, which all came to naught.

But again, I was lucky to have had parents who did not force me into sports, but still, I was not so lucky because all the plans I had for my life didn't work out for me.

I have to wonder, what his life might have been like, if he had not been forced into football by his overbearing father.

What if he had been allowed to make his own choices as to a career that he really wanted?

Who knows!

Perhaps he might have become a doctor, or an attorney, or even a scientist. He obviously was no dummy. Or he might have become an artist or a musician. Who knows.

It's a tragedy, and a great loss of potential when one is forced to waste one's talent, and one's life, in an endeavor that one actually despises.

Now, if one likes sports, then fine!

But nobody should ever have to be forced into sports if one does not wish to have any part in it.

I truly feel for this gentleman.

[Earl]

Thanks for this topic and your post, Fat Man.

Yeah! Tonight, I actually felt sympathy toward a football player.

I actually cried for a football player.

This is a milestone for Fat Man, but I shouldn't be surprised because I know him well enough to know that he is empathetic.

I brought this article to Ray's attention as well as Fat Man's. The text of Eric "Gumby" Anderson's article is now in the "Articles" section.

My intention in calling attention to this article has not been to promote the GBLT movement. As a Christian I believe that homosexuality is a sin. But I do not hate homosexuals, and I'm quite aware of my own shortcomings.

My intention has not been to attack the game of high-school football or to make some kind of negative generalization about football players.

Aside from pointing out that there are people who defy stereotypes, I'm not trying to make any particular point. This article is a human interest story. I'm deeply moved by Anderson's account of this young man's emotional suffering. Those of us who didn't play football in high school are afforded a glimpse of a world that we are not familiar with (from a particular perspective, of course). We have an object lesson that someone who seems to be on top of the world (such as this gay high-school football player) may actually be going through a world of hurt.

Considering that this article is dated in 1999, I wonder what has become of that poor kid. Not surprisingly, the suicide rate among homosexual teenagers is high. I hope that he received some kind of moral support from someone or has otherwise perservered through all this emotional pain.

[greencom]

Yes, thanks for the post Fatman, you certainly took the high road this time, proves to all of us your sincerity. I doubt if any sports lover can top it.

Greencom

[Fat Man]

This tragic story about the gay young man being forced into football by his overbearing father reminds me of a song by Simon And Garfunkel, The Boxer.

The title of a song "The Boxer" comes to mind when I think about this story.

Hear is a You Tube link to the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hqdZ4AWSaI

And here's the song lyrics.

==============================
THE BOXER
By Simon And Garfunkel

I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises
All lies in jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest

hmm hmm hmmm

When I left my home and my family, was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers In the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low seeking out the poorer quarters, Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Li-Li Li, Li Li Li-Li Li Li-Li, Li-Li Li, Li Li Li-Li Li Li Li Li-Li Li Li Li.

Asking only workman's wages I come looking for a job, but I get no offers
Just a come on from the whores on seventh avenue
I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
la la la ...

Li-Li Li, Li Li Li-Li Li Li-Li, Li-Li Li, Li Li Li-Li Li Li Li Li-Li Li Li Li.

And I am laying out my winter clothes and wishing I was gone, Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me, Leading me, going home

In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and shame, I am leaving, I am leaving,
But the fighter still remains hmm hmm hmm

Li-Li Li, Li Li Li-Li Li Li-Li, Li-Li Li, Li Li Li-Li Li Li Li Li-Li Li Li Li.
====================

Notice, that in most songs people usually sing, La La La.

But in this song, the chorus is Li Li Li.

Now this is usually very common in Hebrew songs.

So, I did a Google Search on Simon And Garfunkel and they are Jewish.

Anyway, the story of this young football player reminded me of the Simon And Garfunkel song of The Boxer.

[Earl]

Eric Anderson's article should have reminded me as well of "The Boxer" (the theme of the suffering athlete). Great song. It's now 40 years old. Can you believe that? Simon and Garfunkel are among my favorites. What you pointed out about the chorus is interesting. I didn't know that Simon and Garfunkel were Jewish.

[Fat Man]

Eric Anderson's article should have reminded me as well of "The Boxer" (the theme of the suffering athlete). Great song. It's now 40 years old. Can you believe that? Simon and Garfunkel are among my favorites. What you pointed out about the chorus is interesting. I didn't know that Simon and Garfunkel were Jewish.

Here's another You Tube music video of Simon and Garfunkel singing The Boxer.

The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel Cover
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooq3mdEN ... re=related

This one's better. It has more of a beat to it.

[Earl]

Thanks!