Would you like to live in a sports stadium?

[abitagirl]

Some time ago there was this article in the local paper (a kind of fluff piece) talking about how cool it would be to be able to live in the Stupid Dome. For some strange reason that article stuck with me and I tend to think about it from time to time. Now when you first think about it, it sounds pretty nightmarish, doesn't it? Hundreds of thousands of screaming sports fans descending on your home for three hours or so on a frequent basis during football season, not to mention the horrific mess you would likely have to clean up after they left.

Naturally, my immediate reaction to that article was "No way Jose!" However, I then got to thinking, you can usually do what you want with your own home, right? If you lived in a sports stadium, you could conceivably BAN games from being held there, and tell the team and their screaming sheep fans to have their games elsewhere. I am sure you would not be popular, of course, but oh well.

It's just a fantasy thing (obviously will never happen), but kind of fun to think about sometimes.

[Fat Man]

OK! I'll bite!!!

Personally, I don't think I would want to live in a sport stadium. Not unless I were the owner and it has a dome over it to keep out the rain and it has proper heating and air conditioning.

Then I would replace the AstroTurf with plush carpeting and have chandeliers hanging down from the dome, some beautiful flower gardens and fountains with birdbaths and goldfish ponds.

Also, I could build a fantastic model railroad, either N Gauge or perhaps HO Gauge with dozens of trains running on the layout and have it all computer controlled. I could also fly radio controlled model planes inside my home.

Oh! I could sell tickets, $50 dollars per person to sit in the bleachers and hold either Rock Concerts or Classical Music Concerts about once or twice each month so people can listen to some really cool music, watch my trains running on my model railroads and my radio controlled airplanes flying inside the dome.

And a special drawing so that some spectator might win a special door prize, either an HO or N Gauge electric train set, or a kit to build a radio controlled model airplane, or something like that!

I would make some extra money on the side!

Yeah! Owning a sports stadium and living in it just might be kind of cool!!!

Then, since I own it, and it's my home, I would say ABSOLUTELY NO GAMES IN MY HOME! BEAT IT! GO PLAY STICK-BALL IN A BACK ALLEY SOMEWHERE!!!

Yeah! That's the ticket!

[Ray]

What an idea!

Of course I'd occupy the grassy part in the middle. And like you, I would ban any games. The seating might be good for an orchestra --maybe the stadium could be converted into a sound-efficient concert hall.

But I would continue to let the sports fans line up to buy beer outside --those morons will pay $10 a beer! I'd sell them beer but they wouldn't be allowed inside, into my house. Those sports fans are sloppy and messy. They'd track in all kinds of dirt and trash!

[Skul]

Those sports fans are sloppy and messy. They'd track in all kinds of dirt and trash!

Especially considering they are all kinds of dirt and trash.

Man, look at all the awesome ideas we're coming up with to use these wastes of space for! If we owned them, they wouldn't be wastes of space.

(Waits for inevitable moaning from the sports bores.)

[Fat Man]

Those sports fans are sloppy and messy. They'd track in all kinds of dirt and trash!

Especially considering they are all kinds of dirt and trash.

Man, look at all the awesome ideas we're coming up with to use these wastes of space for! If we owned them, they wouldn't be wastes of space.

(Waits for inevitable moaning from the sports bores.)

Well, since I won't allow sports in my stadium, but only Rock or Classical Music Concerts and I would have model railroads and radio controlled flying model planes on display, my stadium would attract a better class of people who would not track in in so much dirt and trash.

It would be more education and family oriented.

[Polite24]

Sports fans are bad people, but here you guys are making judgements about a large group of people in which you don't even know most of.

What makes you any better?

[Fat Man]

Sports fans are bad people, but here you guys are making judgements about a large group of people in which you don't even know most of.

What makes you any better?

Hey! I'm 58 years old, so I have known far more jocks and sports fans than you have known so far, so I know where of I speak!

And believe me, most sports fans and jocks are obnoxious pigs!

[abitagirl]

Sports fans are bad people, but here you guys are making judgements about a large group of people in which you don't even know most of.

What makes you any better?

I don't know about bad, necessarily, but a lot of them are annoying and obnoxious. No, not all of them, but a lot.

[Agent 47]

Q: What's the definition of a sports stadium?
A: A day care center for morons!