International I Hate Sports Club

Now this really sucks out loud on all four cylinders!!!

I received another shitty sports Newsletter in my E-mail.

At the bottom of my E-mail it says . . . . .

"You are receiving this message because you signed up to receive Lynx Offers, Lynxline or purchased Lynx single game tickets. To unsubscribe or update your profile click here."

And when I clicked on the link it took me to a page where I can update my profile, but there was no option to unsubscribe.

I do not want to update my profile! I want to delete it!

So I clicked on Contact Us and here is the form I had to fill out.

Which I did!!!

====================
First Name: FUCK YOU

City: FUCK YOU

State: FUCK YOU

Date of Birth: 12/25/1900
E-mail Address: xxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.net

Subject: General Inquiry

Comments: Replace this text with the description of why you would like to nominate this hero. Your nomination will go through by clicking SUBMIT once.
Thank you for your input.
====================

YEAH RIGHT!!!

Like, I was going to nominate some monkey-boy hero!!!

Uh huh!!!

So I posted the following instead.

====================
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN - I WISH TO UNSUBSCRIBE! I DID NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THIS SUM-BAG PIECE OF SHIT NEWSLETTER! I HATE SPORTS AND I HAPPEN TO BE A MEMBER OF AN ANTI-SPORTS FORUM! LAST WEEK OUR FORUM WAS RAIDED BY 4CHAN AND I HAVE BEEN GETTING HARASSING PHONE CALLS AND HARASSING E-MAILS FROM RUDE OBNOXIOUS SPORTS FANS WHO HAVE BEEN SUBSCRIBING ME TO ALL OF THESE SHITTY SPORTS NEWSLETTERS! I DEMAND TO BE UNSUBSCRIBED RIGHT NOW!!! AND I MEAN, LIKE, YESTERDAY! YOU GOT THAT YOU FUCKHEADS??? Also, my phone number and home address has been posted at Encyclopedia Dramatica, which I feel places my life in danger! WHY CAN'T YOU MORONIC SPORTS-TARDS ACCEPT THE FACT THAT NOT EVERYBODY LIKES SPORTS? YOU SANCTIMONIOUS SCUM-BAG PIECES OF DOG SHIT NEED TO GET A LIFE! SO, FUCK OFF, AND LEAVE ME ALONE! NOW, I'M GOING TO SAY THIS REAL SLOW SO THAT A MORONIC SHIT-FOR-BRAINS IMBECILE LIKE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND! . . . I . . . . . WISH . . . . . TO . . . . . UNSUBSCRIBE . . . . . TO . . . . . YOUR . . . . . PIECE . . . OF . . . SHIT . . . NEWSLETTER!!! YOU GOT THAT? YOU MORONIC FUCK-TARD!!! NOW HAVE A NICE DAY, GO EAT SHIT, AND DIE!!! OK?
====================

Then below the text window it says . . .

By clicking on the "Submit" button above, you agree that all materials you submit become available for unrestricted use by NBA.com and waive all rights to them. Submissions will not be returned. Please review the NBA.com's Terms of Use if you have any questions regarding making submissions.

Nah! They can keep my submission! They my use it in any way they see fit.

They can keep it! I don't want it back.

They can take it, and shove it up left, where it's dark and warm, and where the sun never shines!

I don't care what they do with it. As long as I get unsubscribed. That's all I want.

Of course, one you've been subscribed to a sports Newsletter, you're theirs for life! The think they own you, just like jock think they can do with us and our women as they please.

I hope to get a response from them, soon.

Lynx? The hell? Is that some kind of team or something? Are you still getting sports subscriptions? I did for a while, but it seems to have quieted down for now. At least I finally managed to unsubscribe to the Vikings newsletter. Hopefully it worked.

Nice submission you sent them Fat Man!
If that doesn't get the message across to them, I don't know what will! But if these people come invading your internet space with their lowlife sports news you know where to tell them to put it!
No doubt they won't take your submission so well. They may come after you for that.
But they asked for it! With all these big images and fancy headers and titles, they'll take up so much space in your inbox that there won't be any room for anything decent, like an email from i_like_1981! Only joking. My emails aren't that good! But I think we can both agree they beat SPORTS NEWSLETTERS!
Right now I've got an avalanche of sports mail and other junk in my junk folder. I shall empty it out right after I've done my work on here for tonight. Thank God Hotmail has "Exclusive" email setting - only my trusted senders will get their well-deserved place in my actual inbox! A signal honour indeed.
Why should I lose decent emails through barrages of crap? Scam emails and sports newsletters just aren't worth my time, unless I'm laughing my head off at (for the former) the bad English and the fact these people think I'm going to do business with a person I've never met and doesn't even know my name, and (for the latter) the unbelievably excessive coverage over a child's game played by men and the fact people actually revolve their lives around watching this stuff!
The junk emails I get are irritating and they come in droves, but the odd search through them can be a laugh.
I'd better be going now.

Best regards,
i_like_1981

i_like_1981 wrote:My emails aren't that good!

Yes, they are.

Earl wrote:

i_like_1981 wrote:My emails aren't that good!

Yes, they are.

Thanks, Earl. It means a lot to me, you know. I like to think these masses of words I type are not in vain. I have seen the need to change my posting style as there's only so long typing in all small letters and making daft comments will bring a smile to people's faces! I am a reformed poster. I hope it agrees with you all!

Best regards,
i_like_1981