(pp. 84-86). The book is entitled The Young Athlete: A Sports Doctor's Complete Guide for Parents, and it was written by Jordan D. Metzl and Carol Shookhoff. I've rendered certain phrases and sentences in bold type for emphasis.
How refreshing to read this! Those who mindlessly hate this website and seek to abuse those who support it (as opposed to those who offer reasonable criticism) should take note of the fact that we are not alone in what we have observed over the years.Quote: wrote:Group (Mis)Behavior: "Jocks Rule"
Psychologists have established that people in groups can be incited to do things they would not do on their own. Being part of a group seems to muffle personal inhibitions as well as a sense of personal responsibility ("If everyone's doing it, I can't be blamed") -- a volatile and unhappy combination. Given that adolescents have an intense need to be part of a group, parents must be on the alert for group situations that lead to risk-taking and delinquent behavior.
As a special sphere separate from everyday life, sports can give athletes, coaches, and fans a sense of belonging to a special group, a sense that exempts them from the ordinary rules of behavior. Most of us are all too familiar with the lurid stories: the player who tries to strangle his coach, the coach who tries to strangle his player, the player who spits at the umpire, and worse. In Glen Ridge, New Jersey, some high school football players sexually assaulted a retarded girl; several Texas high school state champion football players are serving sentences of ten to twenty-six years for armed robbery.
Players, fans, league officials, and sports commentators may call such behavior extreme and unacceptable, but those in charge frequently fail to take action. So driven are some adults to be affiliated with a winning team or player that they overlook misbehavior (drunkenness, drunk driving, vandalism, petty theft) on the grounds that "boys will be boys" and the team needs the guilty players in order to win. Some even claim that offenders need the support of the team to straighten out. If the surrounding community of adults think that athletes deserve special treatment, the athletes will learn that the rules don't apply to them. Further, since most teenagers are impelled to test limits, they keep upping the ante of misbehavior to see what they can get away with.
To raise athletes well, the adults in their communities -- the parents, coaches, teachers, law enforcement officials -- must be sure they all send the same message: Bad behavior is unacceptable. If parents and sheriffs overlook the vandalism or delinquency of athletes, the athletes, and other students, learn that the rules don't apply to the transgressions of athletes. If a coach ignores or snickers at male athletes' pinching girls or calling them insulting names while the school principal condemns this behavior, students become confused and the harassment is almost sure to continue. Because these anti-girl behaviors were condoned for so long, sometimes adults don't know what to say and need to be given a script (e.g., "No name-calling," or "If you touch a girl suggestively, you have to be very sure it's acceptable to her. Otherwise, don't do it").
Teachers, school administrators, law enforcement officials, and coaches need to think about the long-term character development of their student athletes. What do athletes need to learn and do to function as productive people? When should they be cut some slack? A good rule of thumb is to treat athletes the same way that other notable students -- the members of the honor society, the winners of the science fair, the stars of the school musical -- are treated. Athletes should be given neither more nor fewer privileges than the other standout students.
When male athletes are treated as special, some push to discover the limits of acceptable behavior. They bully nonathletes or younger team members, and harass girls. To some extent, many kids, especially starting in middle school, are mean to each other, perhaps as part of growing up and being insecure about their identity. But adults can help by speaking out and reminding kids that there is no honor in cruelty or bullying, that honor means taking care of those who are weaker than you. Adults can also remind students about the importance of empathy and being fair: "How would you feel if someone did that to you?"
Parents and other adults in the community need to be vigilant and think in terms of the long view for their young athletes. If a team or community is pulling its children into antisocial behavior or attitudes, or worse, it's time to look into changing teams or changing schools.