International I Hate Sports Club

About a month ago, me and a friend of mine, we went out to eat. My friend paid for both of our tabs.

Well, the meal was expensive because it happened to be at a sports bar.

It was impossible to have a conversation while eating because there was three big flat screens TVs on at the same time, each one on a different sports channel with the volume at max.

But I did manage to overhear a conversation among seven sports fans sitting at a large table not too far from us.

I couldn't understand what they were saying, but is sounded something like this . . . . .

MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOO! BAAAAAAAAAAH! MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOO! MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BAAAAAAAH! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! BAAAAAAHHHHH! MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOO! MMMMMMMOOOOOOO!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Yeah! Just like the sheep and cattle that they are!

The three smaller guys were bleating like sheep and the three larger guys were lowing like cattle, and a middle sized guy was going back and forth in the conversation being able to speak both Bovine and Ovine.

OK, I'm just being a big fat bitch again!

A sports bar? Sounds like hell. On the other hand, at least you got a chance to observe wildlife up close and personal.

(My apologies to real wildlife!)

Here's a line of dialogue that I'd like to contribute to this bar scene:
Oink! Oink! Oink!, which is Pig Latin for ...

abitagirl wrote:A sports bar? Sounds like hell. On the other hand, at least you got a chance to observe wildlife up close and personal.

(My apologies to real wildlife!)

Well, actually they are domestic cattle and sheep. Wild bovines, like buffalo for example, are more intelligent than domestic cattle.

Earl wrote:Here's a line of dialogue that I'd like to contribute to this bar scene:
Oink! Oink! Oink!, which is Pig Latin for ...

Yeah, most sports fans also speak the Porcine dialect.

So, they speak three languages, Bovine, Ovine, and Porcine.

It pays to be versatile.

Too bad they don't know how to speak Human!

Well, there is one Human dialect that they can speak. They speak Moronic.

DUH! HUH! HUH! HUH! DUH! HUH! HUH! HUH!

And as I have said before, there are two dialects of Moronic. The dry dialect and the wet dialect.

Most of the time, they might speak the dry dialect.

But when jocks ask for extra money for chasing balls, or want a new Hummer, or when they want our women, then they speak the wet dialect of Moronic, slobbering and drooling as the speak.

That's the wet dialect of Moronic!

But none of their languages can be translated into English.

A lot of the sports discussions over here have been very much subdued, especially at work. England failed miserably in the World Cup, the World Cup itself is over now and the English football season does not start again until August. So now I can have a little bit of peace from all of that overhyped drivel as sanity (temporarily) returns. However, as soon as I'm beginning to get used to the sports-free discussions, the football season will restart and I'll be back to keeping my head down and shying away from the hot discussion topics of the office, which often tend to be sports or celebrity-related. Or other stuff I'd hardly know anything about, like relationships, the charts and concerts. How good it is to be well in touch with those you spend your life around.

Best regards,
i_like_1981

Fat Man wrote: So, they speak three languages, Bovine, Ovine, and Porcine.

And don't forget about the Monkey Boys - they speak SIMIAN -

Oooo, oooo, oooo, oooo!

dickfilthy wrote:

Fat Man wrote: So, they speak three languages, Bovine, Ovine, and Porcine.

And don't forget about the Monkey Boys - they speak SIMIAN -

Oooo, oooo, oooo, oooo!

"GO GO GO GO...WE SCORED! OOOO, OOOO, OOOO, OOOO!"

Yeah, I can see that.

Actual monkey boy footage...

Monkey Boy No. 1: "Er, shouldn't we be evolving or something, oooo, oooo, oooo?"
Monkey Boy No. 2: "MEEEEEEEEE WAAAAANNNT BAAAALLLLL, OOOO, OOOO, OOOO!"

I think similar discussion can be heard in the hallways of our heavenly gardens of learning.
Except not as loud. And they get in your way when you are trying to go somewhere.