How I Play Baseball - Three Strikes And You're Out!!!
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:24 pm
OK, I guess you've all heard the old cliché "I'm willing to play ball with you" if you would etc. etc.
Well, there was once this McDonald's restaurant where I use to eat.
Notice, I said "once" and "use to" because it is no more, thanks to me.
Anyway . . . . .
There had been a couple of times when I needed to use the mens room only to discover that there was carp all over the toilet seat and piss all over the floor.
So, I would very quietly and very politely tell one of the workers that the mens room needs cleaning, and they would say that they would get right to it.
I would wait, but then, a half hour later, nothing is still done about the situation.
Then, I would approach one of the employees a second time, and still, very quietly and very politely tell them the mens room still hasn't been cleaned yet, and again I'm told they will get right to it.
But then, after waiting another half hour, I checked, and for the third time, it's still not cleaned.
Now, I am no longer quiet and polite about it, and I say out loud . . .
HEY! WHEN ARE YOU REDNECK GOAT FUCKERS GONNA CLEAN UP THE MENS ROOM? THERE IS SHIT ALL OVER THE TOILET SEAT AND PISS ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND BLOODY TOWEL PAPERS SCATTERED ABOUT! GET YOUR HONKY-TONK ASSES IN THERE AND CLEAN UP THAT SHIT!!! OK???
You see, sometimes I do like to play ball with people, and this is how I play baseball.
No, not with an actual ball and bat.
The first time, and the second time, I will very quietly and politely request that something gets done.
But if on the third time, and nothing is done, then the kid gloves come off, and all bets are off, and then it's . . .
THREE STRIKES AND . . . . .
YOU'RE OUT!!!
After I voiced my complaint rather loudly, one of the workers asked me to keep it down because I was disturbing the other customers, and then, I said . . . . .
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!!! YOU NEED TO KEEP THE RESTROOMS CLEAN! YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP ALL THE SHIT AND MOP UP ALL THE PISS! I'LL JUST BET YOUR EMPLOYEES DON'T EVEN WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER USING THE CRAPPER!
Well, then, some of the customers started throwing their burgers in the trash and walking out, and the manager was pissed off because they were now losing their customers.
The next day, I called the main office of McDonald's, and about a week later, the restaurant was closed down.
I have actually caused two restaurants here in El Paso to be closed down. The McDonald's on Mesa Street and a Burger King in the down town area, just because I complained about their unwillingness to keep their public restrooms clean.
So, as you can see, with me, it's three strikes and you're out.
Now, that's how I play baseball.
Oh! And the way I play baseball, I always win and everybody else always loses!
Ah yes indeed! Baseball, my favorite game. I love it!!!
And I don't even have to use a ball and a bat, or run around bases!
Well, there was once this McDonald's restaurant where I use to eat.
Notice, I said "once" and "use to" because it is no more, thanks to me.
Anyway . . . . .
There had been a couple of times when I needed to use the mens room only to discover that there was carp all over the toilet seat and piss all over the floor.
So, I would very quietly and very politely tell one of the workers that the mens room needs cleaning, and they would say that they would get right to it.
I would wait, but then, a half hour later, nothing is still done about the situation.
Then, I would approach one of the employees a second time, and still, very quietly and very politely tell them the mens room still hasn't been cleaned yet, and again I'm told they will get right to it.
But then, after waiting another half hour, I checked, and for the third time, it's still not cleaned.
Now, I am no longer quiet and polite about it, and I say out loud . . .
HEY! WHEN ARE YOU REDNECK GOAT FUCKERS GONNA CLEAN UP THE MENS ROOM? THERE IS SHIT ALL OVER THE TOILET SEAT AND PISS ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND BLOODY TOWEL PAPERS SCATTERED ABOUT! GET YOUR HONKY-TONK ASSES IN THERE AND CLEAN UP THAT SHIT!!! OK???
You see, sometimes I do like to play ball with people, and this is how I play baseball.
No, not with an actual ball and bat.
The first time, and the second time, I will very quietly and politely request that something gets done.
But if on the third time, and nothing is done, then the kid gloves come off, and all bets are off, and then it's . . .
THREE STRIKES AND . . . . .
YOU'RE OUT!!!
After I voiced my complaint rather loudly, one of the workers asked me to keep it down because I was disturbing the other customers, and then, I said . . . . .
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!!! YOU NEED TO KEEP THE RESTROOMS CLEAN! YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP ALL THE SHIT AND MOP UP ALL THE PISS! I'LL JUST BET YOUR EMPLOYEES DON'T EVEN WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER USING THE CRAPPER!
Well, then, some of the customers started throwing their burgers in the trash and walking out, and the manager was pissed off because they were now losing their customers.
The next day, I called the main office of McDonald's, and about a week later, the restaurant was closed down.
I have actually caused two restaurants here in El Paso to be closed down. The McDonald's on Mesa Street and a Burger King in the down town area, just because I complained about their unwillingness to keep their public restrooms clean.
So, as you can see, with me, it's three strikes and you're out.
Now, that's how I play baseball.
Oh! And the way I play baseball, I always win and everybody else always loses!
Ah yes indeed! Baseball, my favorite game. I love it!!!
And I don't even have to use a ball and a bat, or run around bases!