International I Hate Sports Club

Well, tonight I have NO running water.

When I got up this morning, everything was fine, and I went out today, but when I came home about 1:30 PM this afternoon, the water was running really slow.

Fortunately, I have a couple of plastic bottles of cold drinking water in my fridge.

But the toilet would not flush, so I took a garbage pail and filled it with water to flush the toilet. It took about a half hour to fill the pail with water because it was running so fucking slow.

But eventually, the water stopped running entirely.

Because of the recent snow we had, and low freezing temperatures there is a busted water main, and the area of town where I live is now without water.

I called the water department, and they have no idea when the water will be restored.

If it takes more than 24 hours there could be a real problem.

In the 9 story apartment building where I live, we have a lot of elderly and disabled people living here.

I asked if it were possible to have a water truck parked in front of our building so the we could fill jugs with water, and the woman I was talking to said it was not possible. She was very rude and refused to answer any further questions.

When I tried to ask her why it's not possible, and why the city could not spare a few water trucks, she hung up on me.

So, I dialed 911 for the police, but there was nothing they could do. I'm going to find out who she is, and I'm going to sue her!

FUCKING REDNECK TOWN!!!

Most cities in the USA would have some water trucks parked in neighborhoods where there is no running water for such emergencies.

OK, what happens when my water buckets get empty, and I have no more water to flush the toilet? What happens when I run out of water to wash my hands after using the bathroom? What happens when I run out of drinking water? What happens if the water is not turned back on within 24 hours? Then what?

Well! As I was typing this, at about 7:30 PM my phone rang, and it was a recorded message from EMERGENCY ALERT. It said that we must allow time for the water system to recover, that water is to be used only for drinking. No washing dishes, no showers, no washing clothes, etc. etc. and the the situation will be re-evaluated again in 24 hours, but in the meantime, I should be tuned in to the local TV News.

So, I will know in another 24 hours if the water will be on again.

This is BULLSHIT! When my bottles of drinking water in the fridge run out, I can't drink BULLSHIT!

Yeah, I suppose that when the water is turned back on again, no flushing toilets and no washing hands after using toilet! Only for drinking, but nothing else until the system fully recovers.

But in the meantime I could die from a disease.

Well, fuck El Paso.

When the water finally comes back on again, even if it's just a slow trickle, I'm going to fill buckets to flush the toilet, and I'm going to wash my hands after using toilet!

OK, I'm not going to wash a bunch of dishes, but I will rinse off a plate after eating of off it, and I can go without a shower for a couple of days since it's winter, and I don't perspire as much as I do during the summer, and I have plenty of clean clothes.

But in the meantime, as long as the water hasn't come on yet, after using the toilet, and not being able to wash my hands, after handling food, and after eating, I shall chug down 2 or 3 shot of Vodka so that I won't get food poisoning and stomach cramps.

I would rather get drunk than get sick from food poisoning!

FUCK YOU EL PASO, YOU DIRTY LOW-LIFE REDNECK TOWN!!!

OK, here's an update.

The water finally came back on at approximately 9:00 PM, but the pressure is low. The hot water is just a trickle but at least I have cold water.

I'm able to fill some buckets to flush my toilet and I can wash my hands after using said toilet.

But for the next few days, I will have to boil my water before I can drink it, and of course, Monday I will not be able to take a shower.

I guess I can consider myself lucky. I have only been without water for about 6 hours, but some areas of El Paso have been without water for a couple of days, and some parts of town will be without water for the entire upcoming week!

I've been watching the Local FOX NEWS on Channel 8 after watching Cops and America's Most Wanted, and we are urged to conserve water, which means, no showers, no washing clothes, no washing cars, etc. etc. and no washing dishes.

OK, I will comply.

But I'm am going to keep some buckets filled to flush my toilet, and and I'm going to wash my hands, and rinse off my plate after eating.

FUCK YOU EL PASO!!!

We need water trucks to come in from other cities to deliver water to those parts of town that will be without water.

But will they do it?

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Stores are running out of bottled water, and the prices are going way up.

Only the jocks and the dope dealers in town will be able to afford to buy bottled water, while women and children will probably die of thirst.

Well, if anybody knocks on my door asking for water, I will give it to them but please bring your own jug, and be sure to boil it when you get home! OK?

The Don Haskens Sports Center - AKA - NAZI HEADQUARTERS usually charges $3.25 for a 12 ounce cup of ice water, but now, they'll probably charge $10.00 for an 8 ounce cup.

That evil place should be bulldozed, the grounds scorched and purified with fire, and sprinkled with salt. Kosher Salt!

And the low-life scum-bags who run that rotten establishment should all be boiled alive in pine tar and turpentine!

OK! OK! I'm off on one of my rants again!

It's perfectly understandable, my friend. Good luck (and stay warm)!

OK, another update . . . . .

As of 11:00 PM, the water pressure is up a little bit more. It's still only half what it should be, but now, I do have hot water again.

Now, as I have said earlier, on the local News, we are urged to conserve water by not taking any showers or washing dishes. This will allow the reservoirs to fill back up so that we can have full water pressure again.

Well, I'm beginning to feel more optimistic.

You see, most of the sports fan local yokels here are donkey fucking rednecks who seldom, if ever take any showers, and their bucktooth slutty women use that cheap perfume that can be bought by the gallon from Walmart, and instead of washing their dishes, they just put the plates down on the floor and let the dog lick them clean.

So, we can count on our more redneck citizens to conserve water!

Yeah! Now I feel much better!

I'll sleep better tonight just knowing that!

Gee! I do hope that I'm not being too sarcastic!

OK! Another update.

The water in my apartment is back up to full pressure. Also, the water is clear and OK to drink now without having to boil it first.

Of course, we're still being told not to take showers or wash dishes.

Well, fuck that!

Since it's Monday morning, and my health care worker will be coming today, I'm going to take a fucking shower!

FUCK YOU EL PASO!

MAYBE YOU REDNECKS DON'T EVER TAKE SHOWERS, AND YOU PUT YOUR PLATES DOWN ON THE FLOOR TO LET THE DOG LICK THEM CLEAN!

BUT IN MY HOME, I TAKE SHOWERS, I WASH DISHES, I FLUSH THE TOILET, I USE TOILET PAPER, I DON'T USE CORN COBS, I WASH MY HANDS AFTER USING THE TOILET, I DON'T USE CHEWING TOBACCO, I SMOKE A PIPE AND I SMOKE CIGARS, I DON'T DRINK THAT CHEAP BUCKHORN BEER, I DRINK AMBER BACH, I READ BOOKS, I LISTEN TO CLASSICAL MUSIC, AND I DON'T WATCH SPORTS!

SO, FUCK YOU EL PASO!

OK, if you all don't ever here from me again in these forums after today, it will probably be because some of these local yokels will have kicked down my door, dragged me out into the streets, hanged me up-side-down from the sour apple tree in the town square, and cut my throat, and left me for dead.

So, just in case that happens I'll just say for now . . .

It's been nice knowing you all.

Fat Man

Well, I'm still alive!

I didn't get my door kicked down after taking my shower.

Sometimes we have problems with the sewers backing up in El Paso.

That's because all the rednecks try to flush their corncobs down the toilet after wiping themselves.