New season starts tomorrow

[Ex fan]

Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. This is nine months of boredom and hype I can live without and think of how much I will save in petrol and ticket prices by not going. While I am safely indoors with my girlfriend, I no longer have to sit on a hard plastic seat in freezing weather that cost me £ 22 watching a team slug out a 1-0 win. Also I don't have to endure bad food, naff beer in a plastic cup and bad language, not to mention the threat of violence breaking out when it's a derby match. Now I have shaken off football, I can go back to my real enjoyments: music, the internet, cult television, martial arts films and cars.