DUMB SPORTS QUOTES

"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago."
(David Coleman)

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

"Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs"
(David Coleman)

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."
(Murray Walker)

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through?
Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost."
(Frank Bruno)

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people."
(David Coleman)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."
(Murray Walker)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
(Greg Norman)

"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter)

"Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running."
(Ron Pickering)

"That's inches away from being millimeter perfect."
(Ted Lowe)

"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round."
(Tony Crozier)

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."
-Ron Atkinson

"I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."
-John Kruk

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

"I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?'"
-Eddie Eichorn, White Sox owner

"Raise the urinals."
Darrel Chaney on how management could keep the Braves on their toes

"The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play."
-Reggie Jackson

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
-Jim Wohford

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed."
-Tug McGraw

"They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."
-Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch.

"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
-Baseball player Mike Greenwell

"There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'"
-Pitcher Joaquin Andujar

"That's why I don't talk. Because I talk too much."
-Joquin Andujar

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
-Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
-Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
-Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins, 1991

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
-New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria...I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
-Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator