HOW MANY RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE NEEDED TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

[Fat Man]

How many Religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

Amish:.............................. Whatâ??s a light bulb?

Baptist:........................... At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken next Sunday.

Charismatic:................ Only 1. Their hands are already in the air.

Episcopalian:................ 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Judaism:......................... ? Not now. We will wait until K-Mart put light bulbs on sale. Then we have to say berachot over it.

Lutheran:....................... None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Methodist:.................... Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass around.

Mormon:.......................... 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it properly.

Nazarene:..................... 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Pentecostal:................ 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray for protection against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterian:.............. None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic:........ None. Candles only. Put a little something in the box.

Scientologist:............. Tom Cruise. We may get lucky and heâ??ll fall off the ladder, or will be kidnapped by Xenu.

Unitarian:...................... ? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted â?? all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

[HugeFanOfBadReligion]

Haha, I especially liked the one about Mormonism. Although it would be better if there were more religions in that joke, such as Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and others.

[Indurrago]

Haha, I especially liked the one about Mormonism. Although it would be better if there were more religions in that joke, such as Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and others.

Agreed. Also, I never knew about this Charismatic sect. So thanks for the tiny review. Catholics don't use lightbulbs? You think they use only candles to light up those giant fancy cathedrals? Don't get me started on the Pope's bling too. XD I took a class on World Religions, interesting stuff but it was just a small overview of each. There are religions that are combinations of two or more not just different versions of single faiths. I love history so I used to watch alot of history channel but man....at times it feels soooo pro-christian it fricking annoys me, where's the damn variety?! There are other religions that deserve a good even half-hour documentary once a month but no they can't even do that. Anytime they talk about Judaism its as a reference to Christianity too. When they DO talk about other religions its to support some bogus Alien theories. Sorry for that little rant, from this wannabe history buff XD.