Jocks and Hitting on U

[sparkle]

Last nite I'm out w/ my girls. Hey, that's the nite there's better drink specials than tonight! I'm trying to get my drink on with my friend when this guy comes and plops down by us. We say hi because it's awkward, ask if he goes to the university nearby, blah blah. Then try to ignore him.

He will NOT shut up about how he is playing for their baseball team, that we should come to some game, and can he get our numbers. Any number. Discriminating gentleman! We say we don't watch sports, that we have boyfriends which is a lie, if u can believe that. He still is not getting the clue until we say we would never be interested and he says, "Well a lot of girls are, bitch."

I guess I am complaining because it irritates me when someone thinks they are better than someone, especially based on what they do for fun.

[Earl]

As I was growing up, my dad would sometimes tell me, "Don't let the bastards get you down." I didn't appreciate what he said then, but I do now. The principle applies here. This guy you mentioned was acting that way just because he was immature or possibly because he was also insecure. He was disappointed because you and your friends were not receptive. People who think they're better than others are not worth fretting about. There are nice guys around.

[sparkle]

As I was growing up, my dad would sometimes tell me, "Don't let the bastards get you down." I didn't appreciate what he said then, but I do now. The principle applies here. This guy you mentioned was acting that way just because he was immature or possibly because he was also insecure. He was disappointed because you and your friends were not receptive. People who think they're better than others are not worth fretting about. There are nice guys around.

I agree, Earl. I am not recommending castration for all boys quite yet! There are other means to deal with it. When I was younger I think Puerto Rican men are too macho, blah blah blah. Turns out all people are the same. They just express it differently.

[i_like_1981]

You are single too, then. Well, I can tell you honestly, I'm on the same boat.
I have a desire to receive female attention but it's never fulfilled. There have been times when women have come into the pub with their boyfriends for a drink of an evening and taken a rather unflattering look at me, either sat on my own or with one or two friends. I guess they just don't like the look of me; I'm not physically attractive.
It seems to me there is a hierarchy of social aptitude in this world and your position is judged by your looks and social standing. I don't want to make it seem like everyone's so shallow - perhaps a pub's not the right place to look for compassionate, understanding partners. But it is unlikely that there will ever come a world where all people are treated the same. People will continue to get stuck up their own arse because they feel strong and self-confident through participation in sports or good physical appearance. And there is not much I can do about this. The social hierarchy thing may not be as important as I make it sound but that does not stop people from thinking and acting like there is one and letting their behaviour be judged based on their estimated standing.

Best regards,
i_like_1981

[sparkle]

It is so much about confidence. U make the best w/ what u have. I'm not a 10. I don't kid myself. I am not so hard on the eyes either, but I do my best to dress and do my hair and makeup. The outside is the first thing u see, so it worth making an impression, but that won't get u all the way.

U mention u are working out now, and that's good. I am a workout freak six days a week girl. I LOVE my abs:




Oh who is that hot perra? I think might be a lesbian for her!!! :p (I am kidding.) But muscles and toned body doesn't come from playing sports. Comes from hard dedication to an exercise program, and it's not the body, but the work ethic that will make u appreciated by a girl that is worth it.

U are also funny, smart, and kind. I am sure u will find someone wonderful. I try to be humble though sometimes I do not succeed, and that is so important in men!

[Earl]

Wow! You're very pretty. No wonder guys are hitting on you. (I work out at a health club, too.)

[Earl]

I have a desire to receive female attention but it's never fulfilled. There have been times when women have come into the pub with their boyfriends for a drink of an evening and taken a rather unflattering look at me, either sat on my own or with one or two friends. I guess they just don't like the look of me; I'm not physically attractive.

Any young woman who would be superficial enough to judge you solely by your physical appearance is not worth your time. Look at a picture of Wallenberg. Was he all that good-looking?

I don't want to make it seem like everyone's so shallow - perhaps a pub's not the right place to look for compassionate, understanding partners.

i_like_1981, a pub is definitely not the right place. I know this will be greeted with derision by some, but I met my future wife in a worship assembly.

[sparkle]

Aw, how sweet. But yes, working out is good. It boosts self-esteem in a way for me I can't imagine otherwise. And it is very true on what u are telling 1981. There is so much to it.

[Fat Man]

I have a desire to receive female attention but it's never fulfilled. There have been times when women have come into the pub with their boyfriends for a drink of an evening and taken a rather unflattering look at me, either sat on my own or with one or two friends. I guess they just don't like the look of me; I'm not physically attractive.

Any young woman who would be superficial enought to judge you solely by your physical appearance is not worth your time. Look at a picture of Wallenberg. Was he all that good-looking?

I have noticed that most people who are considered to be not so "good looking" actually have more personality and are usually more intelligent.

Look at Albert Einstein. He was a kind of a homely looking cuss. He dressed like a slob most of the time in loose fitting clothes and never wore socks inside his shoes. But look at how smart he was.

Benjamin Franklin was fat and bald with a great big round belly, yet he was a real ladies' man. He was a real mean sex machine!

Our society today looks down on most of us fat people. We are perceived being ugly. But I have seen a lot of fat people that I think are beautiful. I have a health care worker who comes to my apartment on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays to clean my little apartment and cooks my lunch for me. I love her, and she's like a sister to me. She thinks we fat people are cute, and she says I look like a great big Teddy Bear. I'm one of her most favorite clients.

1981, I think it's probably because you might look "too intelligent" and a lot of shallow bubble-headed bimbos are intimidated by that.

[Earl]

i_like_1981 is slightly built, not fat. Skinny guys get put upon, too. His problem is that he's looking for a girlfriend in the wrong places. Shallow women can be counted on to show up in pubs. Incidentally, concerning the supposed correlation between intelligence and good looks one way or the other, both of my daughters are pretty and very smart. Just because they're good-looking doesn't mean that they're bimbos. Far from it.

[Fat Man]

i_like_1981 is slightly built, not fat. Skinny guys get put upon, too. His problem is that he's looking for a girlfriend in the wrong places. Shallow women can be counted on to show up in pubs. Incidentally, concerning the supposed correlation between intelligence and good looks one way or the other, both of my daughters are pretty and very smart. Just because they're good-looking doesn't mean that they're bimbos. Far from it.

I didn't mean to imply that all good looking people are shallow.

But were talking about people who hang out in the pubs.

Carl Sagan was a very handsome gentleman before he started dying from cancer, and when I was going to NMSU, I had a female Astronomy professor who looked really hot.

No, were talking about people who hang out in the pubs.

So, you're right. We can't always judge people by looks.

(Excuse me whilst I pry foot out of mouth.)

[Fat Man]

Hey, 1981.

Instead of the pubs, may I suggest going to a coffee house instead?

For example:

Here in El Paso in the down town area we have The Pike Street Market.

It's a nice little coffee house with a 1960s kind of atmosphere.

I have been in coffee houses where they had shelves loaded with all kinds of books and you can grab a chess game and sit down with a friend and play chess while drinking coffee and having a nice little meal.

The people you meet in a coffee house tend to be more intellectual.

I tend to avoid most of the pubs (what we call "bars" in the USA) in El Paso because so many of them have a redneck kind of atmosphere.

But in a coffee house, the music is not too loud, you can hold a conversation with a friend, and just kick back and relax.

That's much better than a pub or a bar.

Most of the bars here in El Paso have those big flat screen TVs that are turned up way too loud and all they show is football games. You can't hold a decent conversation with a friend. All you can do is just drink and get drunk, eat greasy fried foods and watch football and have a heart attack!

Or if you survive that, then you go out and wrap your car 27 times around a telephone pole.

Then EMS comes and they pick your remains out of the driver's seat with tweezers and put them in a match box.

Yeah! Like, let's not go there!

[sparkle]

Many men are looking for a one night stand in bars, especially the ones that talk to you.

Also I notice white guys seem shy. A man once gave me his number instead of asking for mine. It was odd. It suck for the man, but u have to extend yourself. U have to ask if she wants to do something, can u get her number. U won't have as much interaction, but u will get more actual dates that come to be with women u actually like.

[i_like_1981]

Thank you very much for the replies.
Yes I probably am looking in the wrong places for a decent partner. Pubs, after all, are the ideal places to go if you are after a one-night-stand or are out looking to get loaded in order to impress an attractive yet shallow woman who would be hooked by a display of such stupidity which she would deem as masculine.
I do not intend on doing this anytime shortly. I do actually care for my health to some extent. At 170 pounds I am not concerned about poor health relating to weight although my consumption of sugary and fatty foods is alarmingly high. I guess this relates to my metabolism. Mine is very high, so as to prevent the alarming level of fast food and chocolate from taking an effect on my weight. It has its advantages but it is a severe drawback when looking to gain weight.
Yes, I have agreed to go to the gym every now and again. I forgot to go last Monday - I guess it just slipped my mind. I was also there on the Monday before that, the 22nd February, but had to leave early after I pulled one of my muscles attempting too heavy a lift on the weight machine. That probably discouraged me from going this week although my absence six days ago was more due to me forgetting. But I'll be back there tomorrow for an hour or so - entry is reasonably cheap and I guess it makes me feel like I've used an evening when I exercise in a hope of bettering myself.
So, regarding girlfriends, I shall scrap the pub idea. You're right. That sort of atmosphere is not favoured by women on my wavelength. Perhaps I should aim to go somewhere more boring and square. That way the people will be more like myself and therefore it shall be easier to make contact and establish friendships.
But I am aware that many of my work colleagues are already married, even some a few years younger than me. The oldest guy at my office is twice as old as me, though. I can't say I know him that well. The people I know best tend to be my age or slightly older.
Oh, and Fat Man, here in England we have "tea rooms" which are probably the same as coffee houses, just the names have to be different. They can be quite peaceful and if you wish to relax for a bit, read a newspaper and enjoy a warm drink in a pleasant, calm atmosphere, they're worth a visit. But it is to my knowledge that the women you find hanging round there tend to be pensioners well over the age of anyone on this forum!
So, gym tomorrow evening, then. Wish me luck. Let's hope I don't pull any more muscles or make a show of myself. There is a guy at my office who goes there as well, and he's aware of the fact I'm taking to it now. That decision did draw some surprise from him and my fellow colleagues who have me down as a disliker of sports too. I have been known to be vocal in real life about my disinterest in all things sport!
Thanks for the encouraging words. I had a feeling my suspicions about women in pubs would be right. I have tried a few times before and failed, as I may have recounted to a few of you before. So I shall not look beyond my pint of beer and my mate or two next time I'm down the local, as we say here in England.

Best regards,
i_like_1981

[Fat Man]

Oh, and Fat Man, here in England we have "tea rooms" which are probably the same as coffee houses, just the names have to be different. They can be quite peaceful and if you wish to relax for a bit, read a newspaper and enjoy a warm drink in a pleasant, calm atmosphere, they're worth a visit. But it is to my knowledge that the women you find hanging round there tend to be pensioners well over the age of anyone on this forum!

Best regards,
i_like_1981

I keep forgetting, things are different over there across the pond.

Here in the USA, coffee houses was something that started back in the late 1950s. It was where the beat-nicks would hang out, smoke a little pot and drinking exotic coffees like espresso and listening to music and poetry.

Then the coffee houses continued through out the 1960s, and it was where the hippies would hang out.

Now, you see all kinds of people in coffee houses, people of all ages, and many coffee houses try to maintain a 1960s type of atmosphere, so it's not like the English "tea rooms" where you see mostly older people. In American coffee houses you see a wider verity of people from young to middle age.

Actually, coffee houses are not new at all. They have been around since the 1400s and they were places where both the wealthy and the peasants come together, drink coffee and engage in conversation and talk about politics. There, the rich would even listen to what the peasants had to say, and information was exchanged. A poor person could practically get a free education while having a conversation with some rich person.

The coffee houses were a good thing. There the social barriers between rich and poor came down, if only temporary, and people were on a more or less equal footing in such an atmosphere.

Back in the 1400s coffee houses were sometimes referred to as "Penny Universities" and because of this, the upper echelon in the ruling class outlawed the consumption of coffee while pubs where people got drunk were encouraged.

The penalty for drinking coffee was that you would get tied up inside a burlap bag loaded with rocks and thrown into a river to drown.

So, back in the 1400s and 1500s there was a much stricter prohibition against coffee than there ever was against alcohol.

By the way, I believe that pot should be legalized. A little weed once in a while is actually less harmful than alcohol. Of course too much of anything is not good for you, but pot is actually not as damaging as alcohol. My Rabbi even says pot is Kosher even though it's not legal, but it's Kosher because it's a natural herb. It can even be made into tea and it's good for arthritis.

Reason why pot is not legal while alcohol is, it's because, pot makes you feel good . . . . .

. . . . . alcohol makes you feel nothing.

And that's what the law makers want. They don't want us to feel good, they want us to feel nothing, or to feel only fear.

That's why back in the 1400's pubs were always legal but coffee houses became illegal. It's because pubs with their alcoholic drinks made people drunk and stupid while coffee houses with their strong caffeine concoctions were intellectually stimulating.

Oh, and we can't have that, now can we?

God forbid that the masses should be intellectually stimulated!

That's why more and more bars are becoming sports bars and now, and why even family restaurants are installing those great big flat screen TVs with the volume turned way up loud and showing nothing but football.

They don't want people sitting around in a peaceful and calm atmosphere and holding conversations. They want to kill the art of conversation.

The only thing they want to here people saying is "WHO DAT? WHO DAT? WHO DAT?" or WHOOT!